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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

WHY CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRINK UNTIL THEY’RE AT LEAST IN THE 1ST GRADE






Children below the age of 1st graders should not be permitted to drink.
They may put themselves at risk of embarrassment & even injury.

To illustrate my case here are small children after having a few drinks:

They think faces like this are a come-on:

They conduct themselves inappropriately in public:

Their depth perception is all over the place.
They cannot find food even if it’s right on their nose.
Seriously, they just can’t seem 
to get their food into their mouths:


They are totally unable to predict when they’re about to pass out:

They continually find themselves in totally inexplicable situations:

They have absolutely no coordination:

They will fall asleep anywhere. 
There is no position too uncomfortable.

They have poor impulse control:

They often fall asleep on or near toilets:

They have no sense of shame:

They often get loud & think they're the life of the party:

They are easily startled by sudden movements:

They'll do things they're not supposed to & then
blame it on the pets:


They don’t know when to stop drinking:

They often fall asleep with their shoes on:

They trip over invisible objects:

They cannot see large things that are in their way:

The smallest job becomes impossible to complete:

They’re terrible at judging distances:


Though they may be obsessed with finding something to eat...

...they often don’t make it that far:

They’re constantly hurting themselves:

They may draw on their drinking buddies’ faces when they pass out:

They can often be found with their heads in the toilet:

And they have absolutely no shame about being seen without pants on:
BuzzFeed.com

There should also be laws regarding alcohol consumption by animals:








It's important that people develop healthy eating habits:

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it----fishducky

  





















Monday, October 20, 2014

IT'S WORLD SERIES WEEK!!





So you think you know baseball?  Okay then; tell me the score and situation…






(Answers at end of post.)

That was easy, right?  How about another test?
Here's the World's Easiest Quiz:

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 

2) Which country makes Panama hats? 

3) From which animal do we get catgut? 

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 

7) What was King George VI's first name? 

8) What color is a purple finch? 

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? 

All done? Check your answers below!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
A not so good baseball story (from 2012):

In 1989 the San Francisco Giants were playing the Oakland A’s in the World Series.  My son was assistant Travel Secretary for the Giants & had 4 tickets for us to go to all the games.  Bud couldn’t take that much time off work so I took my friend, Bonnie, my other son (then a teenager) & his friend.  We stayed in the Presidio at the home of a friend who was a Colonel in the Army.  He & his wife were off somewhere on vacation.  We used his car & I drove to Candlestick Park, less than a half hour away.  It was just about time for the first game to start, the fans were in their seats & the players on the field--& the LOMA PRIETA EARTHQUAKE HIT!  There was a lot of fear, but not too much panic in the stadium.  We found our car & I started driving home

Driving in San Francisco is not the easiest thing to do in the best of times--& this was NOT the best of times!  The street signs seemed to be placed at random.  This was before the GPS or the cell phone were invented.  My son was in the back seat reading a road map by the overhead light as I drove a strange car through dark San Francisco.  As we passed one corner we heard someone yell, “Shoot ‘em now!”  We didn’t know if they meant looters or US!  We couldn’t go to a hotel—many streets were closed & the city was essentially shut down.  It took us almost 4 hours to get back to the Presidio where we were met by an armed guard who told us that it was closed & that only residents could get in.  I did the only logical, adult thing I could do.  I cried.  Then I remembered that my friend had a bird (full) Colonel’s decal on the car window.  I pointed it out to the guard & he let us in.  We spent 5 days in a dark, cold house before we could get a flight home.  Thank heavens the phones still worked.  Our only source of information about the earthquake damage & fires was by phone to our family or a few minutes at a time on the car radio.  We were afraid to kill the car battery.
















Answer to baseball quiz:
It’s 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out, and nobody on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answers to the World's Easiest Quiz:
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years 

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador 

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses 

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November 

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur 

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs 

7) What was King George V's first name? Albert 

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson 

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand 

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.
ArcaMax 



My mind is sharp as a tack; my body is like Jell-O----fishducky