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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

I DON’T WANT TO BRAG, BUT MY KIDS ARE 54, 56 & 58--& THEY’RE ALL TOILET TRAINED!!



(Reworked from a 10/2013 post.)


Not funny today--just some absolutely amazing young people:

Kim Ung-Yong

His world-record IQ of 210 makes him a genius nearly twice over. By age 3 (that’s not a typo) he was a physics student at university. NASA brought him from Korea to do research for them at age 8. He worked there for 10 years while earning a PhD in physics at the age of 16. When he left NASA and returned home, amazingly he could not find a job because he needed elementary, middle, and high school diplomas, all of which he had skipped and had to go back and earn.

Sho Yano

A 1500 SAT score is great, but every year dozens of students score higher. Only, Sho Yano earned his score when he was 8 years old. By that time he’d been reading for six years and composing music for four. At 9 he enrolled at Loyola University, and would graduate summa cum laude four years later and enter med school. Five years after that, when other kids might have celebrated an 18th birthday by buying cigarettes or emancipating themselves from their parents, Sho was reveling in his hard-earned PhD in molecular genetics and cell biology from the University of Chicago.

Christopher Hirata

Kim Ung-Yong may be in Guinness as the world’s smartest man, but that may need to be updated. Christopher Hirata’s IQ is a mind-boggling, “verified” 225. His life is a stream of similarly amazing facts. He skipped seventh through tenth grades. He would fill in for his physics teacher in high school while himself not even yet a teenager. At 13, he did so well at the International Physics Olympiad that a “Youngest Medalist” award was created and then given to him. His PhD came at the age of 22 from Princeton in the field of astrophysics. Smart kid.

Michael Kearney
The only partying Michael Kearney did in college involved birthday cakes and fruit punch. In 1995 he became the youngest college grad ever at the age of 10, with a bachelor’s in anthropology. A master’s degree in biochemistry from Middle Tennessee State University followed four years later, and by 2006 he was set to receive his doctorate at 22. Kearney had been more an infant prodigy than a child prodigy, telling his doctor “I have a left ear infection” at the age of six months.
Above from onlinecolleges.net

Ruth Lawrence (1971) passed the Oxford University interview entrance examination in mathematics, coming first out of all 530 candidates sitting the examination at the age of 10. At the age of 13 she became the youngest to graduate from the University of Oxford in modern times.

John von Neumann (1903–1957) a "mental calculator" by six years old, who could tell jokes in classical Greek.

Tanishq Mathew Abraham (born 2003) is an American child prodigy with Indian (East) ancestry who joined the on-campus college Astronomy class at 7 years old. Not only did he pass the course with an A grade but he was the top student among his college classmates (the youngest in the world). He is also one of the youngest members of American Mensa, joining at 4 years old in 2008. As of 2010, he and his younger sister, Tiara Thankam Abraham are the youngest siblings to both join Mensa at 4 years old.

Akrit Jaswal (born April 23, 1993) is an Indian adolescent who is a child prodigy as a physician. He performed his first surgery at the age of seven. He is the youngest person (at age 12) to get admitted in a medical university in India.

Ricky Schroder won a Golden Globe Award at nine years old, youngest winner ever.

H. P. Lovecraft recited poetry at two years old and wrote long poems at five years old.

Pablo Picasso painted Picador at eight years old.

Wang Yani had her paintings appear on postage stamps at six years old and in worldwide museum exhibits at 12 years old.

John Stuart Mill knew several dead languages by eight years old and studied scholastic philosophy at 12 years old.

Michelle Wie qualified for the USGA Women's Amateur Public Links at 10 years old and won the same event at 13 years old, making her the youngest person both to qualify for and win a USGA adult national championship.

Wayne Gretzky was skating with 10-year-olds at six years old. By 10 years old, he scored 378 goals and 139 assists, in just 85 games, with the Nadrofsky Steelers.

Tiger Woods was a child prodigy, introduced to golf before the age of two, by his athletic father Earl. In 1984 at the age of eight, he won the 9–10 boys' event, the youngest age group available, at the Junior World Golf Championships. He first broke 80 at age eight. He went on to win the Junior World Championships six times, including four consecutive wins from 1988 to 1991.

Willie Mosconi, nicknamed "Mr. Pocket Billiards", played against professionals at six years old.
2nd section from wikipedia



William James Sidis was quite possibly the smartest man who ever lived. Sidis had the highest IQ ever recorded with a score estimated to be 50 to 100 points higher than Albert Einstein's. Born in Boston in 1898, William James Sidis made headlines in the early 20th century as a child prodigy with an amazing intellect. He could read the New York Times before he was 2. At age 11, he already mastered over 40 languages and entered Harvard University as one of the youngest students in the school's history. He attempted a political career but died young (at age 46), from a brain hemorrhage.




Here's 13 minutes of beautiful music:




Well,  maybe a little funny:


The original cartoons:








And a bunch of new ones:










Carol Wyer's newest book,
"The Chosen Ones"
is available on Amazon tomorrow.
This is the 5th & last book in the DI Carter series.
I read an advance copy.
It's as good (or better) than the rest of the series.

Here's my Amazon review:
Another book, another winner!!  I thought I knew who the killer was, but it wasn't him--or him--or him.  Just as she did in the other books in this series, Ms. Wyer kept me guessing until the end.  Whether the subject is murder or humor, this lady really knows how to write!!


All my adult life I've wanted to be a child prodigy----fishducky

   













Monday, May 21, 2018

A FUNNY 5 YEAR OLD (& HER SISTERS)

One of the best things about kids is how funny they can be. Comedy writer James Breakwell knows a lot about having daughters — he should, he has four of them under the age of 8. He tweets using the name @xplodingunicorn, and often uses Twitter to share the conversations he has with this kids, especially his 5-year-old (or, at least, one who is five at the time of the tweet — not always the same daughter, given the dates of the tweets. Maybe 5 is just the funniest age?). The tweets often go viral, because of how hilarious they are. Here's a sampling of some of the best ones:


Me: What did you do at school today?
5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
Me: Your class learned about dragons?
5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.

5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup?
Me: To look pretty.
5: But she's already pretty.
Me: Aww.
5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

3-year-old: Do boys like Frozen?
5-year-old: Nobody cares what boys like.

5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars
Me: That’d wreck the economy
5: I just-
Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation

5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.
Me: That could mean anything.
5: The dinosaur had a hat.
Oh shit.

[watching a guy on TV do CPR]
5-year-old: Why is he kissing her?
Me: He's not. He's saving her life.
5: I'd rather die.

Me: Who ate all the cookies?
5-year-old: Ninjas.
Me: I didn’t see them.
5-year-old: No one ever does.
Checkmate.

5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?
Me: I helped
5: How?
Me: I read her the instructions.

Me: Wake up. Time to get dressed.
5-year-old: Not again.

5-year-old: *won't get out of bed*
Me: I don't want to fight you every morning.
5: Then let me win.

5-year-old: Why can't dogs go to school?
Me: Dogs are animals.
5: They let in boys.

Me: It snowed last night.
5-year-old: *flops on the floor* We already did winter.

Me: You're still in your pajamas.
5-year-old: I'll get dressed soon.
Me: It's 4 in the afternoon.
5: Don't rush me.

Me: Why are you being mean?
5-year-old: I ran out of nice.
It's going to be a long night.

5-year-old: Can we have pizza?
Me: We just had pizza yesterday.
5: The pizza doesn't know that.

Me: Hurry.
5-year-old: I am.
Me: You're still in bed.
5: I'm sleeping faster.

5-year-old: Leprechauns are fairies.
Me: They are?
5: I thought you went to college.


5-year old: I'm not scared of monsters when I'm with you.
Me: Well, thanks.
5: They'll eat you first because you're fatter.

And from her older sister:

And from me:












 




Friday, May 18, 2018

HOW THE SKUNK GOT ITS SMELL





Long, long ago (even before your narrator was born) God created skunks.  He created a lot of other animals, too, but this story is about skunks.

“What pretty little things they are,” God thought, “Surely they don’t need a defense mechanism.  I gave elephants their size. I gave many other animals speed & sharp teeth to defend themselves.  I even gave the delicate butterfly flight.  But no one would ever want to harm the precious little skunk.”

Wrong!!

Other animals found them to be delicious.  And fashion conscious women loved the black & white striped fur coats furriers made out of them.

One day at the skunk meeting hall they discussed this problem.  What could they do?  They needed to find an answer quickly before the species was extinct!!  It was suggested they go on a diet of onions & garlic so their breath would ward off predators.  That didn’t work because mountain people found that it just gave extra flavor to their skunk stew.  They needed something more powerful.

Then Sammy Skunk came up with a brilliant idea; chili!!

Have you ever noticed that you never see skunks at night?  It’s because now they’re all in the forest cooking & eating big pots of delicious 5-star ass kickin’ chili & beans, which gave them SUPER FARTS!!  Washing it down with a few beers added that special little something.  Those farts could keep a gorilla at bay.  (This, of course, was not necessary because gorillas are vegetarians, but you know what I mean.)

Other animals soon learned to avoid skunks & women stopped wearing skunk fur because furriers refused to make them.  Who would want their furs and/or furriers to smell like chili farts?






















Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shower----fishducky