Monday, July 30, 2012


            Back in the days when my skin fit better  When I was about 45 or 50, my gynecologist retired & I had to find a new one.  I had made a note on the new patient form I filled out saying I preferred being called “Fran” to “Frances.”  He brought me into his office & was looking over my papers.  He said, “I see you’d rather be called Fran.”  I told him that was right & asked him if he preferred to be called “Bob” or “Robert”.  He looked at me as if he had never had a patient ask him that before, then he smiled & told me, “Robert”.  I figured that with the particular parts of me that he would be checking, we should probably be on a first-name basis.

Many doctors are like this:

I would MUCH rather they were like this:

            Are they required to surrender their sense of humor in exchange for their medical school diploma?  I was at a doctor’s office, waiting in one of the operatories, when he & his nurse came in.  They told me they had an emergency & that it would be a little while before they could treat me.  They asked me if they could get me anything while I was waiting.  I told them a margarita would be nice.  No reaction whatsoever!  I wonder why they even asked?

            My friend, Barbara, fell down the stairs two weeks ago.  Only two stairs, but she managed to SHATTER her kneecap—I guess she figured that something worth doing is worth doing well!  She had surgery that evening & the next day her surgeon examined her & told her to see him in two weeks.  She made an appointment.  She’s currently in a rehab center & confined to bed.  She called her surgeon’s office about the appointment & was told that he couldn’t see her then—he was getting married.  Barb asked the receptionist if the doctor was getting married, how come he didn’t know that a couple of weeks in advance?  She said, “It must be a rush marriage!  Is he pregnant?”  Not even a snicker from the receptionist.

       This may have been her surgeon:

Or him:

Do you ever feel like this in a doctor’s office?
                            If you do, you might consider this:

Here’s a list that was taken stolen borrowed from the net (fortogden.com):
                        Things You Don’t Want to Hear in Surgery
            --Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
--Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
--Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
--Ya' know...there's big money in kidneys...and this guy's got two of 'em.
--Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
--Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
 --Damn! There go the lights again...
--What's this doing here?
--That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
--Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
--Sterile, schemerle. The floor's clean, right?
--What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
--OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
--This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
--Isn't this the guy with the really lousy insurance?
--Don't worry.  I think it’s sharp enough.
--Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

            And one more “funny” for the road:
           If this link isn't working, go to 

It's Tim Conway as the old doctor with Harvey Korman

            See you next week, unless you’re at your doctor’s appointment----fishducky

PS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE. Funny stuff!!


  1. Oh, I do so miss the Carol Burnett show!!! I love when they cracked each other up...and the "family" sketches were hysterically funny and poignant at the same time.

    Anyways, love this whole post. Have a great week!! :)

    1. Several years ago, my husband had the priviledge of seeing Tim Conway & Harvey Korman together on stage doing some of their old routines--WHAT A JOY!!

    2. I meant to say, my husband & I!

  2. What is it with you, you get funnier every week, must be something in the water....Loved the surgery jokes, you must have an HMO too, or better yet, Medicare....lol

    1. Thanks, but it would have to be something in the Diet Pepsi!!

  3. When you talk to Barbara, please let her know that we are sorry this happened to her. And we hope for a speedy recovery. Ouch, that must be so painful. When I broke my arm, the orthopedic doc spent exactly three minutes with each patient. He had a loud voice, so I could tell. When he came in my room, he stood over me and tried to get out in the three minutes. I told him to sit. He said he had a bad back, but he sat. Like the good dog he was.

    1. I'll tell her. The orthopedic doc should have had you as a trainer!

  4. Dear Fishducky, thank you a bushel and a heap and a peck also for that wonderful Conway/Korman skit. All of it had me laughing out loud but I just fell apart when he shook the thermometer down!

    1. You're welcome! I hope you get back together soon!!

  5. I avoid problems with doctors by refusing to see them. I make appointments and then I keep them waiting for hours until I finally cancel. I had a doctor I loved in Illinois. When I told him Dr. X and I were getting divorced, he said, It's about time!


  6. Sadly most of those cartoons are dead on. I once waited 4 hours for my ortho surgeon. (He was also the Dr. for the Houston Rockets.) The players just waltzed in and out all day without having to wait. It was infuriating.

    1. NOBODY makes you wait as long as an ortho surgeon! When my son needed surgery in the 7th grade we went to a children's ortho surgeon. We tried to get the 1st appointment in the morning & got scheduled for 9:00. It turned out they booked everyone for 9:00 & then it was first come, first served!

  7. Hey lady! Welcome back! I couldn't read all of this because my eyes are jacked up today. Hope you are having a great day though and I'm so glad your back. :)

  8. I see you finally got a blog. Very good. I love the cartoon of the Dr wearing the hospital gown. Cracks me up.
    Love Manzanita

  9. Bloggers are like doctors, they keep us in stitches!

  10. I couldn't believe it. I have been off bloggie for a while and when I clicked on your icon....Look at what I found....GREAT! I knew someone would talk you into it. You have so much fun to share.

    Since you have been such a huge supporter I wanted you to know:
    After two years of blogging I am about to call it quits. Most of the stuff I have posted this year was written before my dad died. I can't seem to come up with new stories. If I do I will start up again.

    Now that I am no longer need to care for him I have had to find a way to cycle myself back into the life outside of these walls. I have gradually dipped my toes into that world and find that I am too busy to write. But, more importantly, I find that I am too busy to continue a relationship with all of you bloggers out there. I hate not commenting regularly!

    Although it was you guys that literally got me through these last two years it seems so rude of me to not get around to reading and encouraging you, like you did me. I hope to remedy that soon. When school starts I plan to get pack to substituting, and with that, back to a regular schedule of some sort. That schedule will include a time to re-enter the blogging sphere to keep up with my many mentor's antics.

    I am sending this to each of you as I want to thank you for your friendship and kindness.


Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.