Friday, July 20, 2012


I’m telling you quite honestly

I’d love to write fine poetry.

I’d show such versatility

that everyone would honor me.

The words would come forth trippingly

as if they had a melody.

I’d write of plants; of rose and tree.

I’d be a big celebrity!

I’d write of kings and royalty

and I’d discuss humanity.

I’d write of love so wistfully,

of sadness and of joie de vie

And I would do this masterfully.

            I’d lecture universally.

I’d do this work unselfishly

(though I’d accept gratuities).

 So let me add, in summary,

I’d gain much popularity.

My poems loved so zealously

that  publishers would say to me,

“Write more!”  They’d beg me fervently

for poems to fill their glossaries.

They’d organize parades; you’d see

me waving at fans jauntily.

The crowds, no longer orderly,

would clamor with intensity.

The President would say, pleadingly,

“Our Poet Laureate you have to be!”

I would decline, quite modestly.

This could become insanity.

I’d have to write incessantly,

If I were to act accordingly.

There would be no more time for me

to sit and daydream lazily.

I’d be pressured overwhelmingly

to keep up this activity.

I’d hear “Please write!” repeatedly

‘til writer’s cramp took hold of me.

My brain would start to atrophy.

No one would want to be with me.

My friends, is this my destiny?

Why, in this great democracy,

Should talent push relentlessly

and rob me of my dignity?

And so I ask you, tearfully,

            is that the way it has to be

If I could write as beautifully

as I had wished for previously?

My literary wizardry

might just attack me fatally!

I’ve thought this thing out carefully

and realize the absurdity

Of living my life tragically

if I could write great poetry.

With apologies to humankind,

I fear that someday I would find

My nerves all tangled in a bind

which I, (poor soul) could not unwind,

So—never mind!

----the lucky, plucky fishducky

PS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE.  Funny stuff!!


  1. Dear fishducky, I know you have lived a wonderful life, not missed out on much, but after reading this, I believe this selfish pursuit of your own happiness has left the world bereft of a great poet and a brilliant writer. All I can do now is to thank you for sharing your innermost feelings about the hazards of pursuing the art of poetry. I do understand your choice, but I wish, I wish......

  2. Hahaha! A long time ago, I wrote an depressing poem like this. Not a clue where it is, but I only used to write poetry when I was in a depression. I never was good at funny poems...despite being able to write funny anything else! :)

  3. Dear Fran, first let me apologize for addressing you as "Rita" in the comment I left on your Monday posting. My mind must have been back with a previous blogger I read the same day.

    Now as to this poem. So you aspire to be the poet laureate of the United States!!! But oh the stress and pressure and so you are going to embrace just being the wonderful, witty you who has such a delight sense of the ridiculous and a sense of human folly. I'm glad you've decided that just the way you are is what we all depend on! Peace.

  4. You are so hilarious :0) This is such a clever piece! ;)

  5. Almost as adorable as my poetry about abuse.


  6. to all of you who have left me a complimentary comment--your check is in the mail!


Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.