Follow

Friday, August 17, 2012

MY PHONE & I KNOW EVERYTHING


There’s an old joke about a guy who’s bragging in a bar.  He says, “My wife & I know everything!”  Someone says, “If you’re so smart, explain the theory of relativity.”  The first guy thinks for a minute & tells him, “My WIIFE knows that!”  That’s how I feel about the modern electronics age.  I used to be able to go to a restaurant with my family & wonder aloud what time it is in Iceland or who played the villain in an old movie.  That, at least, gave you something to talk about for a while even if you didn’t really care about the answer.  No more.  Now, if I should happen to muse about Iceland’s time zone, someone will whip out a phone, click a couple of buttons & tell me, “It’s 7:30pm PST here in California & Iceland is 8 hours ahead of us, so it’s 3:30am UTC/GMT tomorrow there.”  That’s already more than I really wanted to know.  Then they will continue, “GMT is Greenwich Mean Time.  UTC is Coordinated Universal Time or in French: Temps Universel Coordonne.  UTC was decided as the acronym because it was thought CUT or TUC were not appropriate.  GMT & UTC are the same.”  I’m surprised they didn’t tell me how to make a watch.  I’ll have to ask them about that, sometime………….




I’m a very good driver.  That’s my opinion, not my husband’s.  He thinks it’s my fault that trees like to jump out in front of me.  I have NO control over trees!  In October of 2010 he had to go to Cedars Sinai Hospital very early in the morning for some tests.(He’s fine—thank you for asking.)  He wasn’t allowed to drive, so he had taken a cab there & I was on my way to pick him up.  Although I’ve driven past Cedars many times, I somehow missed the turn.  I drove to the next major intersection, planning to turn left & circle back.  Robert Burns once wrote, “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.”  Well, AGLEY they went!  I tried—unsuccessfully--to make a left turn.  I’m happy to report the airbag worked.  The paramedics thought I had two broken wrists.  It turned out only one was actually broken.  I now have a 7” plate in my arm.  My new Mustang, which had less than 1,000 miles on it, suffered extensive damage.  It’s all better now.  The paramedics caused me more (mental) pain than the accident did.  They took scissors & cut off my brand new black leather jacket.  I loved that jacket!   I’d bought it in a consignment shop, but it was new to me.  We were less than a mile from Cedars, so that’s where the ambulance brought me.  Bud & I were reunited in the ER.  Since neither one of us (or my car) was in condition to drive, our daughter came to the hospital & took him home.  I stayed a few days.

(Are ALL paramedics cute?   It may be a job requirement.) 

            
My friend, Barbara, & I both love pork.  Early one evening Bud & I were driving from L.A. to our beach condo & stopped for dinner.  Barb lives across the street from us at the beach & we decided to surprise her.  I had a rib dinner & we bought another one to bring to her.  Bud was downstairs with the takeout box & I went upstairs to talk to Barbara.  She had no idea we had food—or anything—for her.  I asked her what would be the greatest gift one human being could give another & she said, “PORK!”   Bud was just coming up the stairs.  He said, “Right!” & handed it to her.
            
When we were little, my brother used to catch every childhood disease that was in town—mumps, chickenpox, etc.  My mom would throw me in bed with him so I could catch it when I was young & develop an immunity.  I never caught anything.  As a child, that is.  I got measles the semester I was entering UCLA.  As a freshman, you couldn’t get your classes by mail.  You—or someone—had to enroll in person.  Bud was kind enough to sign in for me.  He figured that it would be no problem except for Women’s Phys. Ed.  It turned out that was the easiest.  The other prospective students must have noticed his embarrassment—they let him go to the head of the line.

            For you parents of young children:

You probably didn’t notice, but sometimes I have difficulty staying on one theme whenI write.  That’s just the way fishduckies are.


Until next time----fishducky


PS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE. Funny stuff!! 

Being computer illiterate, I don't know how to  put the stuff that goes with this button into my post but I DO want to support her!!  You can enter through Elisa's post (THE CRAZY LIFE OF A WRITING MOM) or Janie Junebug's post (WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME).
   

15 comments:

  1. Great post as usual. I didn't know you were a fellow cali girl, the best state in the union (well, it used to be anyway). Totally agree about the cell phone thing, sometimes you just need to fill in some dead space. when I get back, I'll do the same about Melynda's book :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I was born, raised & have always lived in Los Angeles, except when we were first married--Bud was in the Army & stationed at Fort Ord, near Monterey.

      Delete
  2. Thankfully I don't have a smart phone...I just have one with my own intelligence level ;) It makes life more fun and more simple!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, either--you have to be as smart as your phone! Mine takes & receives calls--how primitive!!

      Delete
  3. I don't have a smart phone either -- it took repeated phone calls to ATT to finally make them understand that I wanted my cell phone to be just like my home phone. I love that you jump from this to that -- never a boring moment on your blog, that's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the way my mind works--& I HATE boring!!

      Delete
  4. Hey lady! It doesn't matter if you jump around it's what makes you well YOU! That's what I love about you.. No time to get bored. Hope you are doing ok. Thanks for supporting our cause. I'm giving a percentage of my sells to the diabetes association also. It's a worthy cause. Love ya lady

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I can't jump around, I can't write--I'm a jumping fool!!

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  5. That sounds like a horrible accident...and then to lose your leather jacket, too. You really did make a wrong turn!
    They used to do that in our neighborhood that was full of kids. When somebody got chicken pox or whatever the parents sent their kids over to play with them or hang out with them so they'd get it, too. All three of us kids in my family usually caught everything together.
    Cute cartoon. And true. LOL!
    Have a super weekend! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The other driver (who I NEVER saw) saw me & sped up to try to get past me--it didn't work.

      I worked as an assistant to a children's dentist for several years--never caught anything then, either. The only children's disease i ever had was the measles.

      Delete
  6. Tony and I have smart phones but are too dumb to know how to effectively use them. Therefore we have plenty to argue and ponder while waiting for dinner....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment I made to Padded Cell Princess seems to fit in here, too:

      Me, either--you have to be as smart as your phone! Mine makes & receives calls--how primitive!!

      Delete
  7. Dear Fishducky, sorry to have missed your posting on Friday. I was a little under the weather but am fine now and so I'm back here at the computer reading blogs. I wanted some laughter and so came you yours, which is always a study in the folly and foibles of humankind! Thank you. Peace.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.