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Friday, August 3, 2012

TODAY I AM A CAR

How do you like my new background?  Candiss West designed it for me.  No way could it be mistaken for anyone else's blog but mine!  Do you think I should keep all the little fishduckies on the sides?  I didn't realize there would be so many!!
          
Some pre-post notes: We returned home Saturday from a 10 day vacation in Maui. The trip was marvelous but I managed to create a small problem for myself. I have difficulty walking distances so we rented a scooter chair (like you see on TV for the moderately decrepit) & while trying to negotiate a sharp turn I drove it into the wall with my foot wedged in between. I thought I had broken my foot--I didn't--but I gouged a rather large hole in it & it hurt!!!! My daughter-in-law is a physical therapist (I try never to travel without one) & she helped me a lot. This cartoon reminded me of me, except I didn't gain any weight.







Some of you have asked me for details on our trip. Our kids (& THEIR kids) went jet skiing, zip lining & parasailing. I didn't. The family took turns pushing me in a wheelchair & I still had a great time! My daughter feels very strongly about me posting our pictures but I'm sure she wouldn't object to this one in front of the aquarium. (I'm the fourth from the left & Bud is second from the right.) It may be just my opinion but I feel there's a strong family resemblance.






AND NOW THE POST:
           
          A client of my husband’s once gave him a new car.  Bud is an extremely good attorney.   Just ask him.   Another client once was afraid he’d lose his very difficult case & told that to Bud.  Bud told the client that some attorneys are just plain not good.  Some are not good, but believe they are.  Others are good, but don’t realize it.  He told him not to worry.  He said that he was a very good attorney & knew that to be a fact.  After he won their case for them, they presented him with a gold watch.  Engraved on the back were 2 words:  “THE FACT”.
His wasn't a Rolex

            Back to the car: My husband is not impressed with new cars.  He kept this car for a long time.  He is diligent about maintenance.  When its 13th birthday was approaching, we thought it would be fun to throw a party.  Since we are Jewish, we thought a bar car mitzvah would be appropriate.  (Note to members of other tribes:  When a Jewish boy becomes 13 he is eligible to become a member of the Temple & to be regarded as an adult.  That’s why he says, “Today I am a man.”)  We had it all planned.  Since, at that time, many dealerships were failing it would have been no problem to rent an empty showroom for the night & park the freshly washed & waxed car in it.  I would make it a prayer shawl (size xxxxxxxxxxlarge) & a yarmulke (skullcap).  We would read passages from the owner’s manual.  Unfortunately, this never came to pass because some people in our family thought some of the prospective guests who were Orthodox Jews might feel we were insulting them.   I still think it was a great idea!!  It probably would have been covered by TV.
He wasn't our car

            We didn’t get on TV with the car, but my daughter & Bud’s mother once made $100.00 with a submission of an announcement they sent to the Reader’s Digest’s “Life in These United States”.   My husband had lost a great deal of weight & we sent our friends an engraved formal announcement.  It stated: “Frances F----- is pleased to announce the loss of 100 pounds by her beloved husband, B. D. F-----.”  Reader’s Digest liked it.  Western Union, not so much.  Friends in Paris sent us a telegram which, by Western Union’s standards, couldn’t be read over the phone.  Maybe it was because it said, “Congratulations on the unexpected loss of your beloved.”  (Note: When someone tells me they recently lost their husband, I feel sorry for them, of course, but it‘s all I can do to keep from asking, “Well, think--where did you see him last?”)
            My husband & my mother-in-law used to read the obituaries in the paper every day.  For a while I did, too.  You’ve heard that old joke, I suppose.  It goes, “First thing I do every morning is to look at the obits.  If my name’s not there, I get on with my day.”  One day I looked at the obits & my name WAS THERE—right down to the unusual “c” in our last name!  It was someone else, of course, but I don’t check the obits anymore.
            Looking over what I’ve written, I’m amazed to see that I actually followed what might be considered a logical (for me, anyway) train of thought.  I may have been sidetracked at the end, but not so far away that you couldn’t see the train as it whizzed merrily by!
           
All aboard!----fishducky

PS--I don't want to ignore the Olympics, so here's my contribution:


PPS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE. Funny stuff!!
































           


23 comments:

  1. Well good morning, fishducky!! And what do we have here, a humorous and well-written blog?!!

    :-)

    Thoroughly enjoying you...

    Pearl

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    1. Thank you, funny lady--enjoy you, too!!!

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  2. LOVE the new blog design! Except, it's totally the one I wanted and now everyone will think I'm copying when I put Fishduckies all over my background.

    Also, I will now be calling Bud if I have any..eh em...legal trouble.

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  3. Dear Fishducky, a fun-filled posting. I so wish I could send out an announcement that I've lost the twenty-two pounds that I'm overweight--but I just can't seem to shed it!

    As to the new look. I look all these ducks at the side. However, the ones behind the small pictures of your followers are distracting to me. Peace.

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    1. Candiss tells me it's all or nothing with the little side ducks. I think I'm going to get rid of them & just have the light turquoise color. My blogs are distracting enough by themselves!

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  4. Car Mitzvah! Classic!!!! Love that idea. You have been a very funny fishducky all your life I'm guessing. So glad you're sharing your funny with us.

    PS - Love the background!

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  5. Actually, as a child I was very shy & not funny at all. It took Bud to make me the fishducky that I am today--whatever that is!!

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  6. Can you please adopt me, so next time you go to Maui with the family I can come too? We looooove Maui. I read the obits still, I'm morbid that way but I want to know what people die of and what kind of life they had. I love the new blog look, it makes your stories even funnier. :)

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    1. Sorry--adoptions are closed! You're not the only one trying to get into our family, though. The man (a stranger) at the Auto Club who made our reservations sent our confirmations signed "Your loving nephew, Robert"!!!

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  7. I've seen you around in Blogland, but have only just discovered you're a Frances too. Hello, Frances!

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    1. I AM a Frances, but everybody calls me Fran--unless they're mad at me. Then the names become more colorful!!

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    2. I'm Fran too, have also been Fra, and have an unspeakably twee nickname, used only by my siblings.

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  8. I got a good smile out of your post today. It's been a while since I visited. You have just reminded my why I used to come by more often. I'll be back. :)
    Rosemary

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it--come back anytime!!

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  9. I don't read the obits. I don't want to know when I die. It will put a crimp in my lifestyle.

    Love,
    Janie, who loves all these fishduckies

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    Replies
    1. Obviously, they're not always accurate!

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  10. First I must tell you that I am laughing so hard, tears are falling down my cheeks. Then I must tell you that I'm so sorry you had an accident and injured your foot. How is it now? I hope it's better. I so admire you for mushing on with your vacation and enjoying it even with a sick foot.
    I love the new design, it's so bright and cheerful, perfect for a fishducky blog. I think you could lose the duckies on the right side, the ones that are sort of covered with some white stuff. I love the ones on the right side, they are sort of peeking in at the action, one-eyed. Very cute! The only thing I don't like is the teeny, tiny writing at the top. I just picked up my new glasses yesterday, so I could read it, but why is it so small? Or should I not care now that I can read it? Great to have you back in town, safe, sound more or less, and funny as ever.

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  11. Replies
    1. Don't you think it's too many me's??

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  12. I LOVE the picture at the aquarium--and your new background :0)

    Lost a husband--where did you see him last? ROFL!!! You're awesome ;)

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    1. It seems like a logical question to me!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.