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Monday, September 10, 2012

PUMPKIN EATER VS PUMPKIN EATER: A LAWSUIT

I realize that in this clime
           Poems don’t always have to rhyme,
But I DO like mine to rhyme—
All the time.  Yes, all the time.

Your concern may be for meter,
But no poem’s content could be sweeter
Than Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater,
Unless you’re Mrs. Pumpkin Eater!



She dwells within her pumpkin shell
And seems to be doing very well,
But I think that she should tell
Her chauvinistic husband to go to hell!

She is not happy.  No, she is sad.
The man she loved is quite a cad.
It is driving her quite mad
To think of husbands she could have had.

You can see it in her eyes.
You can hear it in her sighs.
Peter, Peter is no prize.
Women in your shells, arise!

Do not be a weak kneed mouse,
Tell him you demand a house
Or the rotund little louse
Will no longer be your spouse.

He must know that you have needs
That are not met by pumpkin seeds.
You need not live among the weeds.
Let him show love by his deeds.

I know he promised when you wed
That you would always have a bed
“But where?” is what you should have said.
I would have hit him on the head!

Perhaps a lawyer could quell your grief
And bring to you some sweet relief.
*Ask one to please file his brief!
Now is the time—that’s my belief.

Take him for everything he’s got
           (Although he claims it’s not a lot)
Then ask him, as an afterthought,
If he’s still glad he tied the knot!

P.S.  
Tell the miserly little elf
That he brought it on himself.

*(I hate it when you set up your indentations & Blogger decides to put them someplace else!!)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND NOW A BONUS POEM (which I didn’t write):

GOOD MORNING POEM


I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

It sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

It sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun.
It seemed its very trilling
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers.
Crept slowly out of bed.
Then gently shut the window
And crushed its f***ing head.

I'm not a morning person!

----I’m lucky I’m fishducky


PS--My birthday is the end of this month.  My daughter asked me if there was anything special I'd like to do to celebrate.  I told her a parade would be nice.  Nothing on the scale of the Rose Parade--maybe a dozen floats & a hundred or so marchers.  She said she didn't think so.  I don't know why she even asked!



29 comments:

  1. First of all I am with you...if it doesn't rhyme it is not a poem! I don't know what they are but if they don't ryme call them something else. How about Prose?
    Second the other poem is brillient. I am also not a morning person.
    THird, tell your daughter to just give you a fucking parade...you deserve it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm worried for you--most people don't agree with everything I say!!

      Delete
  2. I was going to ask you when your birthday comes around. Sometime at the end of this month, just like my hubby's. Good to know. Now, I loved your poem and I also loved the last one, so inspiring, just like I wake up to the twitter of little birds, I thought, until I got hit with that last line or two. fishducky, you shouldn't have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The second poem expressed exactly how I feel about mornings!!

      Your hubby's birthday is 2 days before mine. Would he like a parade?

      Delete
  3. I think your poem was brilliant and that your daughter, if she won't provide you with a parade, should hire a troup of scantily clad sprites of...oh...50 or so to provide you with hot and cold running house, lawn, and cooking service for a week or so.

    Oh and by the by, you may just be getting a mention on the auld blog today...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you--if I were Mrs. Pumpkin Eater, that's how I would feel! Re the housework & cooking, you make it sound like I still do those things--I DON'T!!

      I'll check your blog again later. I hope you're through with your electrical problems.

      Delete
    2. Thank you SO much for the mention & the link!

      I'm now a follower of "How the hell does this work?"

      Delete
  4. You're a Poet ...

    ... and you know it ...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. So very witty! You had me laughing out loud and I needed that today--thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome--you make me laugh all the time!!

      Delete
  6. I'd be happy to come and be a float in your parade young one. Do you have a lot of crepe paper?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOOHH--I never thought of a LIVE float!!

      Delete
  7. I know...why ask and not be ready to produce...even a Rose Parade or two..hahhahhaa...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah--it's not like I asked for something big!!

      Delete
    2. I'll have you know that Mary (who isn't really all that contrary) asked about putting on a parade for someone....

      Dunno who...

      Delete
  8. Your poem was brilliant! I think you captured Mrs. Pumpkin Eater's condition very well...and very hysterically ;)

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  9. Dear Fishducky, ah, she's a poet and I didn't know it! Poor Mrs. Peter Pumpkin Eater. I bet she's thinking of giving up that name! A steady died of pumpkin seeks just "ain't" satisfying! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree--I'd need at least an apple & maybe a little brie!!

      Delete
  10. If Peter is eating so many Pumpkins, I'm glad I'm not the one who has to wash his boxers.

    BTW, Try using the blockquote tag to help with the alignments and indents.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I WOULD use the blockquote tag if I knew what it was--WHAT IS IT??

    ReplyDelete
  12. You and Wordsworth wouldn't have got on at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He always sounded snooty,
      Like he was bothered by a cootie,
      But Edgar Allen Poe
      Was a man I'd like to know!

      Delete
    2. Welcome to my post! You are one of the funniest bloggers around!!

      Delete
  13. I loved this entire post! So funny!
    What day is your birthday? Soon as I can get a ride I'll be sending your books off. Love ya lady and HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Glad you liked it!! (Sent you an email re my birthday.)

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.