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Monday, October 15, 2012

CAN YOU SPARE 5 MINUTES FOR A SURVEY?





This was ACTUALLY posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by
an employee there who obviously had a sense of humor. The company, 
of course, does not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down immediately.




Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
desires.

[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____

Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ____/__/__
Serial Number: _________________________

Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have
just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] Iraq
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Classified

How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that
apply):
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Sabotage
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
[_] Fashion / clothing

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in
the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

source: jokebudda















Oh, about the McDonnell Douglas plane--I bought a red one!----fishducky



14 comments:

  1. Keep em comming.

    Was the McDonnell Douglas dude canned?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me!!

      Delete
  2. Lmao!!! That guy deserves a fish ducky award!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would ABSOLUTELY send him a "fishducky approved" button if he had a blog!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think Alex had a top secret job there and she wrote the survey. She should have your button.

      Delete
  4. I purchased my F-16 because they flew over my house every five minutes for months following 9/11 (we lived in the vicinity of Camp David). After a while when no one important was visiting Camp David, the flights ceased and then would recommence when someone named Dubya was going to be there. The flights always began in the middle of the night. Now that I have my very own F-16, I'm going to share the joy of having someone fly over one's house, starting at 2 or 3 a.m., and then continue flying over every five minutes, thus destroying any possibility of sleep. I want to share this joy with everyone in America.

    Love,
    Aeroplane Pilot Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. VERY patriotic of you--makes me proud to be an American!!

      Delete
  5. Love that last one. But I didn't let the missus catch me laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Fishducky, the man who made out that questionnaire has a wonderful sense of humor. I wonder if he has gotten totally disillusioned with his work. I could surely see why. This questionnaire may be his only outlet for his rage and frustration. The categories he offered in many of the questions reveal so much about our military complex and the fact that big business runs our country today. Now I'm getting political, so I'd best stop!!!!! Peace. Yes, peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That was so funny! I hope he didn't get fired over it.
    I had a job doing surveys over the phone once for a few months. I was good at it because I got people laughing. ;) I bet you would be great at it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe, but I don't think I'd like to try!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.