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Friday, October 12, 2012

RAMBLIN’ RECALLS (NOT A COWBOY MOVIE)

This is a picture of a mother-in-law’s tongue in bloom—but not MY mother-in-law’s tongue!!

         I wonder how many people can honestly say that they love their mother-in-law?  I am one of the fortunate few who can.  I think--& hope—that my son-in-law & my 2 daughters–in–law can, too.  (When we get together with my daughter’s family, she & my granddaughters give me a kiss on the cheek.  Not so with my son-in-law—right on the mouth!  He’ll stop by our house to visit with me & often chooses to sit next to me at restaurants so we can talk.)
          Bud & I started dating shortly before I was 16 & married when I was 20.  We became engaged when I was 18.  Many mothers feel that no girl is good enough for their son.  We spent many nights at his folk’s house watching TV.  Audrey would say, “You shouldn’t just sit around the house.  Why don’t you go to a movie—go bowling—get married?”  Do you remember hope chests?  She gave me a gift for my hope chest every month that we were engaged.  She gave me almost all of our sterling silver & I have service for 12.
          A side note on silver: When Audrey & my father-in-law, Phil, were engaged they went together to pick out their silver.  She looked at the patterns.  He “weighed” them in his hand.  They got the heaviest pattern that she would agree to.  I guess he figured they might have to melt them down to pay for groceries someday.
          Audrey developed diabetes later in life.  Her doctor wanted her blood sugar checked regularly.  She refused to prick her finger & learn to use a blood glucose monitor.  We lived about 5 minutes from them & since I have diabetes myself, I had a monitor & offered to come over twice a week & check her sugar.  She agreed, but ONLY if she could pay me $5.00 a visit.  I once asked her how many daughters-in-law she thought were invited to come to their mother-in-law’s home on a regular basis, cause her pain & get paid for it?  Not too many, I’d bet!
          When one of her grandsons was married she & Phil, my parents & 2 other couples, all of whom were married 50+ years, were sitting at one table.  When the groom came to visit their table she told him, “Glenn, look at us.  If this doesn’t scare you, nothing will!”
          Her standard answer to “How are you?” was “Splendid!”  She was not one to give—or listen to—an “organ recital”.  That’s what she called it when you ask people how they feel & they tell you about their kidneys, liver, etc.
          We took them to the World’s Fair in Vancouver.  We knew it would be difficult for her to walk around, so we rented motorized scooters (like they show on TV for the handicapped) for her & Phil.  He liked it but she was too embarrassed to use it until Bud & I rented two for ourselves.  What fun it was to buzz around in those!
          I remember 2 cars she owned, “Hadda” & “Shasta”.  Audrey considered the names logical.  One always “Hadda” have this or that fixed & the other—well, “Shasta” have gas & oil, doesn’t she?
          I’ve always felt that God played the ultimate joke on Audrey when she died.  She was always very modest about her body.  One evening she got up from the living room sofa where they were watching TV & told Phil she had to go to the bathroom.  When she didn’t come out after a reasonable time he went to check on her.  She had had a sudden heart attack & died quietly while using the “facilities”.  We told him to call the paramedics & rushed over.  This modest lady’s body was seen sitting on the toilet by her husband, son, daughter-in-law & 2 paramedics.  She said she had to go--& she DID!  Bud & I almost found ourselves in the position where we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  She was 88 years old.  Audrey & Phil had been married 64 ½ years.



















 Audrey, I hope you got a laugh out of this----fishducky

18 comments:

  1. I can honestly say I love my mother-in-law now that she isn't technically my mother-in-law. When I was married to Dr. X, he told me all the time that his parents hated me and he told me all sorts of terrible things they supposedly said about me. Now I know he was full of shit and just wanted me to feel bad about myself. My in-laws treated me like gold when I told them Dr. X left me. They were unbelievably kind and helpful. I continue to grieve the loss of my father-in-law, a great man (almost as good as my dad), and my mother-in-law and I write to each other and are friends now that Nosy Parker X isn't in the way. This is a great post, as usual, fishducky. I'm so glad you blog now.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I'm glad that a lot of good came from your marriage to Dr. X--your children AND your in-laws!!

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  2. A lovely tribute. My mother-in-law passed away a decade ago but we got along exceptionally well. She was full of enthusiasm for life and fun to be around. I got along with her much better than I did my own mother.

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    1. Audrey DEFINITELY deserved this tribute!!

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  3. I went 0 for 2 in MIL's. You were lucky indeed.

    I liked the God cartoon the best.

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    1. I WAS lucky--& I am very discriminating in my selection of cartoons!

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  4. I loved all of my grandparents but of course Grandma Audrey was "splendid"!

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  5. I believe you'd be the loved MIL! :):)
    I am lucky. Leah has told me that I am more a mother to her than her mother ever was and she considers me a friend, too. I love her to death! I'm very lucky! :)

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    1. Isn't it wonderful when life turns out that way!!!

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  6. A lovely tribute to your M-I-L. You two had a very special relationship.

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    1. She was easy to have a relationship with!

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  7. I, too, can say I love my mother-in-love! She is truly my other mother. She has been a joy to me since the moment I met her, and she is always has my back! You were blessed Miss Fran, and so am I; I am SURE your -in-love children think so, too!

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  8. I'm glad for you--for me, I can only hope...

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  9. I had a wonderful mother, after she died in 1986, my hubby and I got engaged that Christmas and I gained a wonderful mother-in-law. On her 80th birthday, I wrote a letter to her and enclosed it in her birthday card. I told her how I lost one wonderful mother and gained another. She cried in front of all her guests. She is no longer with us either and I miss her terribly. At her funeral, they talked about this chicken she cooked, more and more people came to her house, the chicken stretched and stretched and somehow she was able to feed everyone. That's just how she was with food and love both.

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  10. Dear Fishducky, of course I've never had a mother-in-law, but I have memories of my mom's mother-in-law. That is, my dad's mom. She was, I have come to realize, a tyrant. She criticized my mother all the time and often said negative things about her to me.

    I've always thought of this from my own point of view, but since I started blogging I've begun to think from the point of view of those I write about. And when I think of how Mom must have felt, I could punch out my grandmother!!!!!

    Peace.

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  11. I remember the things you said about your grandmother. Let's just say your mom didn't have the world's best mother-in-law!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.