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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM WATCHING TV



TV can be very educational.  If i hadn't watched TV, I'd never have known that:

--There will always be a parking spot directly in front of any building you want to visit.


--If you are alone & surrounded by a group of ninjas intent on taking you down with martial arts, they will patiently wait their turn & attack you one at a time.

--It takes too long for lab tests to be completed, unless you are at NCIS.


--Cuts & contusions heal in a few minutes.  Broken bones may take an hour.


--Streets are wet & shiny at night even if it hasn't rained.


--Doctors must wear stethoscopes at all times so people will know they are doctors.


--Cars can easily make 20 to 30 foot jumps just by using mounds of dirt or cheap wooden planks.  When they land, the car sustains no damage at all.  

--Foreign speakers (including alien beings) speak English when they are alone.

--If you need a particular celebrity for a school show or prom, they will be in your town at exactly the right time.

--If you are in Paris, you will always have a view of the Eiffel Tower.

--If you need to see a news story on TV, it will be starting at the exact  moment you turn the set on.

--You & 5 or 6 of your friends will always find an empty table in the center of a coffee shop, even during high traffic hours.

--If you're a good guy, you will never run out of ammunition.

--Groceries come in a plain brown paper bag & are required to have crusty bread & leafy green vegetables sticking out.

--In a high speed chase, traffic is spaced so that the bad guy & the police can weave in & out.











I used to watch a lot of TV.   Now about the only show I watch with any regularity is "Jeopardy!".  Did you know that if you record it & fast forward through the
commercials & the interviews, the show is only about 15 minutes long?  Some funnies about it:






I'll get back to you when the show's over----fishducky


10 comments:

  1. L O V E it!! This was one good post I am still chuckling about them all but I want to ask my doctor about those bath tub couples also! New follower :))

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    1. Welcome, new follower! I could never understand that ad, either. Who keeps two bathtubs outside?

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  2. Now that was good post! Every bit is true to the core!! Well done fishducky, well done!

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    1. THANK YOU! Everything I write is true--at least, that's how I see it--otherwise, I'll let you know!

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  3. Dear Fishducky, you certainly did hit the nail on the head with things you've learned from television. Often I find myself shaking my head as I watch a show and saying "What a fake!" or "Oh yeah, like that's going to happen!" I suspect that NCIS has done a lot to increase misunderstanding of just what is possible when a crime has been committed.

    Is Jeopardy truly only 15 minutes! Wow, those contestants think so fast. I'm always impressed. Peace.

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    1. I'm sure the FBI would love to have some of the equipment that Abby has in her lab in NCIS!!

      As for Jeopardy being only about 15 minutes, have I ever lied to you?

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  4. I laughed out loud at the foreign speakers using English when they're alone, but all of these are SO TRUE! Hilarious.

    P.S. We DVR every episode of Jeopardy, and now I could never go back to watching it in "real time." ;)

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  5. I can't understand why anyone with a recorder WOULD watch it in real time!

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  6. ALL of these are sooo good!
    The one with the ninjas is hysterical! I also loved this one (since I can't believe I've never even thought of it): Streets are wet & shiny at night even if it hasn't rained.

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    1. Some of these I wrote--some I borrowed. I can't remember which is which, so I thank you!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.