Follow

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I'M LOOKING FOR A NAVAJO MOOSE WHO'S JEWISH



I understand Navajo moose who are Jewish are very rare creatures & there may be some in hiding out there!  Please be on the lookout.

This is the Hebrew letter "Chai".  It means "Life":

This is a gold "Chai" pendant:
 
This was listed on Ebay as a sterling silver pendant of a Navajo moose.  My theory is that neither the Navajo artist or the seller is Jewish--but the moose may be!  What do you think?

     
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As long as I'm on the subject of animals, some of you may feel that I have treated cats unfairly in previous posts.  I'm an equal opportunity blogger, so here is some stuff about dogs:

The Cockapoo & the Labradoodle are new breeds of dogs that I believe are now recognized by the AKC--but why stop there?

 If you crossed a Collie & a Lhasa Apso, you'd get a Collapso, a dogs that folds up for easy transport

If you crossed a Spitz & a Chow, you'd get a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot.

If you crossed a Pekingese & a Lhasa Apso, you'd get a Peekasso, an abstract dog.

If you crossed a Labrador Retriever & a Curly Coated Retriever, you'd get a Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of researchers.

If you crossed a Pointer & a Setter, you'd get a Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

If you crossed an Irish Water Spaniel & an English Springer Spaniel, you'd get an Irish Springer, a dog fresh & clean.

If you crossed a Newfoundland & a Basset Hound, you'd get a Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.

If you crossed a Malamute & a Pointer, you'd get a Moot Point. owned by...oh, well, it really doesn't matter.

If you crossed a Deerhound & a Terrier, you'd get a Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.

If you crossed a Bull Terrier & a ShihTzu, you'd get a...uhh, I'll get back to you on that... 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following ad appeared in a newspaper:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE

SBF seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play.  I love: long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, riding in your pickup truck, fishing trips, cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.  Rub me the right way & watch me respond.  I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.  Kiss me & I'm yours.  Call xxx-2121 & ask for Daisy.

(The phone number was the Humane Society & Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador Retriever.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.  "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements.  First, you'll have to type at least 60 words per minute."
Sitting down at the keyboard, the dog types 80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical & complete the obstacle course."
This perfect dog specimen passes the physical & completes the obstacle course in record time.
"There's one last requirement," the director continues, "You must be bilingual."
With confidence, the dog looks up at him & says, "Meow!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon entering a small country store, a stranger noticed a sign saying, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.  Inside, a harmless old hound was asleep on the floor by the cash register.
He asked the owner, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The amused stranger said, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me.  Why in the world would you post that sign?"
The owner said, "Because, before I put up that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This should prove that dogs are smarter than cats:





 It doesn't seem right to leave out penguins:

or chickens:






Bow wow, arf arf & cluck cluck to you!----fishducky












18 comments:

  1. Very funny stuff - the dog mixes are classic!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. From MELYNDA:

    I want a Derrier! People have always said I have no butt at least that way I could walk my butt around and prove them wrong haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is anyone ever satisfied with the size of their butt--or their boobs?

      Delete
  3. Love the chickens sitting around the microwave watching in horror!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the Pointer and the Setter combination. Also the Beware of the dog sign " is actually used even if the dog looks lazy and/or old. It is only when the owner signals the dog for defense do we get to know the actual danger that the dog can put us through. Sometimes our own nervousness can put us through troubles with dogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought some of those combinations were pretty funny, too! And I agree with the rest.

      Delete
  5. Had that horror movie on all afternoon in my kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOLOL!!! these were all great! From the jewish moose to the horror movie!! Have a good one!! :):)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!! You haven't seen any Jewish moose, have you?

      Delete
  7. Your posts are always thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks for the chuckles and smiles. I'd like a perky derriere too, please.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Okay, I had all kinds of comments, but the chickens are cracking us all up. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you think chickens are funnier than ducks? Their humor tends to be kind of wry--or is that rye? OOOHH, a chicken sandwich on rye--sounds good!

      Delete
  9. The dog breeds are hilarious. I read them to The Hurricane and even she laughed (she tends to be a bit dour -- she gets if from Dr. X).

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard to make either my daughter or my husband laugh, either. They both laughed out loud, though, at this joke from Eva Gallant's blog (Wrestling With Retirement) that I told them. Try it on The Hurricane:

      In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

      "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

      Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

      She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.

      She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.