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Friday, December 28, 2012

YES, THAT’S REALLY WHAT I WANT IT TO SAY!


When our daughter & son-in-law were first married, they lived in one of three small houses that we bought for rental.  Bob, who worked in Bud’s office, lived next door.  Bob had found a box containing a litter of puppies that someone had abandoned on the street.  He gave one (“Fio”, short for “Fiorina”, little flower in Italian) to them & found other homes for the rest.  Our son-in-law was complaining that almost everything they owned once belonged to Bob.  He said, “We have Bob’s dishes, Bob’s sofa, Bob’s table…” & then he looked at Fio & said, “Come here, Bob’s dog!”

Food looks beautiful & tempting in advertisements, doesn’t it?  Do you know why you can never get yours to look that good?  I once took a photography class which was taught by a professional who also shot ads.  You probably know that they use mashed potatoes instead of vanilla ice cream because ice cream can’t stand up under all those hot lights.  But do you have any idea how they get roast turkeys to get so shiny & evenly browned?  With the new photography techniques, I don’t know it they still do it this way or not, but at that time they coated it with motor oil!

You Know You’ve Been Married a Long Time When Dept: Before the days of Netflix or when you could find out ANYTHING on your computer or Smart Phone, Bud & I had been wracking our brains for over a month trying to remember who played the role of “Doc” in the movie “Mr. Roberts”.  No particular reason, it was just frustrating not to be able to remember.  I could picture him, but could not come up with his name.  Early one morning--about 3am--I woke up with a flash of genius.  I shook Bud awake & said just two words--“William Powell”--with no further explanation.  He opened one eye, looked at me & said, “You’re right!” & promptly rolled over & went back to sleep.



We were with our three kids & another couple in Hawaii.  Six of us (Bud & I, our 3 kids & Scott’s girlfriend) were enjoying the sand, the sun & the ocean.  Scott, not so much.  The ocean was too wet, the sun too sunny &, I guess, the sand was too sandy.  We decided to have a Tshirt made for him.  After quite a lengthy discussion with the clerk, who didn’t believe that was what we really wanted, the shirt was made.  It said, simply, “NATURE SUCKS”.  THAT, he liked!

In Hawaii, our daughter saw a Tshirt that she liked in a window.  It said, “YOUR NAME HERE”.  We went in & asked the clerk for a red one in her size. He got an unprinted shirt & asked her name.  She asked him why he wanted to know.  He told her it was so he could put her name on the shirt.  She said she wanted the shirt to say, “YOUR NAME HERE”.  He said, “I KNOW!  So what’s your name?”  Back & forth.  She finally asked him for a piece of paper & wrote down just what she wanted it to say.  After some time, the young clerk, who had apparently taken this job so he could earn enough go to Cal Tech or MIT & become a rocket scientist, made her the shirt.  She wore it for a long time.  It said exactly what she wanted.  It looked something like this:
(not our daughter)


As my husband says, “You’ve got to take the bad with the terrible”----fishducky




20 comments:

  1. William Powell!!

    Thanks, thats been bothering me for years!

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  2. I want a T-shirt that has the Nike swoosh and says "Just do it...even if you suck."

    Sadly Nike has failed to adopt this logo.

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  3. I knew it was William Powell. And I would like to have that t-shirt. Both of them. Your name here is hilarious and so is nature sucks. I need to think of a t-shirt that would be appropriate for The Hurricane. She complained about the sunshine every time we left the damn fucking house. She's on her way home now and I hope that San Francisco is sunnier than it's ever been before when she arrives.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I find the idea of another Scott--or Nameless--FRIGHTENING!!

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  4. Hiya Fishucky. Sorry I've been AWOL. Having been an art director in my past life I attended lotsa photo shoots; and you're right it's amazing what they pass off as food that is in no way edible. At a shoot for pancake mix they cooked 400 pancakes to get the 3 they thought were good enough. After the first 50 they all looked the same to me.

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    1. No wonder Pinterest has so many FAILS!!

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  5. Ah, sharing so much life together that you start to think alike. My hubby and I call that sudden out of the blue remembering a "Kevin Costner Moment." Who was that guy in Robin Hood, Dances with Wolves, Waterworld, Field of Dreams...whatever.

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  6. MIT uh? Don't think he ever made it, but the t-shirt idea is very clever. I love Hawaii...:)

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    Replies
    1. So do we!! We had a condo in Kaanapali, Maui for several years.

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  7. Years ago, before google, my aunt and I used to call each other when we couldn't remember an actor's name. When one of us would remember we'd call the other and just say the name into the phone--LOL! I could totally relate! Much easier now with IMDB!! :)

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    Replies
    1. EVERYTHING'S easier now--except moving!!

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  8. ahh I LOVE these short stories :D they made my day!

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  9. Why can't I find a "Nature Sucks!" t-shirt? I like it from a distance, but a true friend will never ask me to go camping. I feel as though you just have one huge treasure trove of great stories. Makes things seem a little mundane over here ...except for the vibrant crayons the kids are drawing on the walls with.

    Oh, and me and my husband do the whole, "Where have we seen him/her?" game too. I'd be lost without the internet.

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    Replies
    1. You kids have it easy. With no internet, we used to have to walk 5 miles through the snow (& it was uphill BOTH ways) to find out the answers to those questions!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.