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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

YOUR CAT & PHYSICS


This is the basic philosophy of any cat:
"My fundamental job is to rule the universe."



There are certain laws of physics that refer only to cats.  Every potential cat owner (or anyone who is owned by a cat) should be aware of them.


Law of Cat Motion--A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism--All blue blazers & black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics--Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching--A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping--All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved & as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation--If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along & take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction--Turn on an electric blanket & a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. 

Law of Random Comfort Seeking--A cat will always seek & take over the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy--All bags and/or boxes must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment--A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to its embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest--A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest it.

Law of Pill Rejection--Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Elongation--A cat must lay on the floor in such a position as to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration--A cat will accelerate at a constant rate until he gets good & ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance--Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration--No rug shall be permitted to remain in its naturally flat state.

Law of Obedience Resistance--A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for it to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation--Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed & will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation--Cats also know that energy can only be stored by lots & lots of napping.

Law of Furniture Replacement--A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing--A cat will always land in the softest place possible, often the midsection of an unsuspecting reclining human.

http://messybeast.com/moggycat/physics.htm










Some more cat cartoons, of course:














And my favorite cat cartoon ever--I've run this
before & I MAY run it again:


For those of you with multiple cats,
a storage suggestion:
pinterest

Are you familiar with "Simon's Cat"?  Here are 4 of his many short (under 2 minutes each) videos:












Gotta go see if Bud will give me a belly rub--& FEED ME!!----fishducky




10 comments:

  1. A catcophany of cats is catastic.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. This cataclysm left me sort of catatonic--I need a catharsis!!

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  2. Wonderful collection. One of our cats sleeps with the dog; we think to foster jealousy among the higher ups.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it--give your kitty a kiss "nighty night" for me!!

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  3. Mr. Chewey will always claim a spot on our bed that is the most intrusive, and inconvenient one possible. Except in the winter. We use a space heater to boost the heat initially in the boys bedroom. He parks his butt in front of that thing and roasts himself like a chestnut. After four hours, it shuts itself off and then he's back in our bed, where no matter how we try to kick him out, he lays there like a giant rock. :)

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  4. This was so much fun. If our cat Tofu could read, she would think that you made this all up.

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    Replies
    1. It's all been scientifically proven--ask Juli's cat!

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  5. Great post--LOL! You know how I love cats and I am a great fan of simon's Cat videos!! :)

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.