I’ve told you before how dangerous
it is for me to be near somebody’s pocket—click here if you don't remember.
But it’s not ALL my fault. It must be something in our genes that draws
my family to pockets. It affected my
brother at a very early age. He didn’t
empty pockets, though--he filled them.
When he was a month or so old, my mom brought him to the pediatrician
for a checkup. The doctor was wearing a
white lab coat, with the pockets gaping open.
My mom told me that he removed my brother’s diaper & placed him on
his back on the examining table.
Although my brother had never seen the “Dancing Waters” in Las Vegas, he
did a very good impression of them.
According to my mother, his urine went high into the air, arced &
landed directly in the doctor’s pocket, without spilling a drop! You’d think a pediatrician would have known
better than to place himself in such a precarious situation.
The Dancing Waters
And now onto some different
subjects—keep up with me here. That’s
the way my brain works. (My lawyer husband
would object: he’d claim I was assuming facts not in evidence.)
I
went to a very funny art show many years ago.
Do you remember painting by numbers?
The
canvasses looked like this:
The
only paintings from the show that I remember clearly looked like the two below. They aren’t the actual pictures, but these
were the subjects the artist used:
Horse
Painted by Numbers
Numbers
Painted by Horse
This was not in the show. It came in my email:
I am a magic nut. (Not
like a pecan that can do tricks—I mean I’m crazy about magic.) We’re not magicians, but for many years we
were members of the Magic Castle. The
Castle is a private club in the Hollywood hills for magicians & lovers of
magic. You have to be a member or guest
of a member to get in. You enter the
main Castle through the foyer. There’s
no door from the foyer to the interior—you stand in front of a wall-to-wall
bookcase, say “Open, sesame” & it slides open. Inside on the walls there were many portraits
where the eyes “followed” you.
One of my
favorite things there was the piano—“Irma”.
Irma was a-lush was a souse liked her liquor. She would play musical answers to your
questions—the proper keys would be depressed—but there was no human sitting
there! It worked like a player piano,
but fast enough so you could have a conversation with her. If you asked her if she’d like a drink, she’d
play “How Dry I Am”. The waiter would
bring in a full glass & set it down on her, where it would quickly be
drained dry. When the waiter “86ed” her,
refusing to serve her any more liquor, she was likely to play “Show Me the Way
to Go Home”. She was horny, too. I once asked her what her favorite thing in
the world was & she played “Stout Hearted Men”.
There were
several rooms where they did close-up magic at a table & also two or three
theatres with stages. People from the
audience were called up to participate.
It was always such fun! I
remember several times in one of the close-up rooms where the magician put
something in my hand & I closed my fist tight. When I opened it, there was always something
else there. One night I was “assisting”
a magician with a card trick. I can’t
remember how his routine went, but I do remember that my card was the 15
of clubs!
Even the
restrooms were different. I have no
personal knowledge of the men’s room, but I have to believe it was as different
as the ladies’. (My husband says that
all he can remember is that there were framed copies of the daily newspaper on
the wall above the urinals, so men who were able to multitask could keep up
with the day’s happenings.) There was a
silver dollar embedded in the ladies’ room floor which looked as if it had
recently been dropped. I don’t know hw
many people tried to pick it up—but I was one of them. The liquid soap dispenser was a small replica
of Michelangelo’s “David”.
Guess which part you had to pull down to get the creamy white liquid soap?
Hint: It wasn’t
the arm.
We once hosted a
sceance at the Castle. We invited five
other couples for a total of twelve people.
We were seated at a large round table in a secluded room. The four or five course gourmet meal was
prepared by a private chef & served by a private butler. Delicious!
After dinner we were joined by a medium, who made us a group of
thirteen. ( A lot of spooky rappings, noises & other goings on then!) We ended the sceance by giving everyone
watches that we had had made, below.
WHAT A FUN EVENING!!
Now I’m going to
disappear. PRESTO!! I’m gone----fishducky
