I’ve already introduced you to a lot of my friends
& family. Today I’d like you to meet
one of my favorite people; my sister-in-law, Jackie. Let me tell you what kind of person she
was. We both used to give New Year’s Eve
parties every year. I was having my hair
done in the morning, in preparation for my party, when I suddenly felt
ill. By the time I got home around noon,
I was dizzy & nauseous. (NO, I
wasn’t pregnant--just sick.) I called my doctor
& he ordered me to bed. We were
expecting about 50 or 60 people in a few hours & I didn’t want to call them
& cancel so I called Jackie & asked her what I should do. She said I should stay in bed & that she
would be right over. (She lived about 3
quarters of an hour from our house & was having her own LARGE party that
evening.) She came over & set up
everything beautifully for our party—no small job! She came into my bedroom & told me
everything was done & she was leaving.
I said, “Thank you so much!” & she said, “What for?” She thought everyone acted that way. They don’t!
She was a world class sleeper. I was visiting at her house one afternoon
before I ran some errands. She told me
she was very tired & needed a nap--right then! She asked me if I could run my errands &
come back to visit when I was through.
She said she really wanted to talk & if she was still sleeping,
to wake her up. I finished & went
back to her house. She was still asleep,
so I woke her up & WE TALKED FOR A HALF HOUR OR SO when she said she was
very sorry, but she had to go back to sleep.
I told her that was fine & went home. She called that evening & asked why I
didn’t come back like I’d promised!
Jackie was supposed to be my Maid of
Honor (I already loved her that much) but by the time we got married she was
very pregnant & didn’t think she could stand up for that long. We still kid my nephew about attending our
wedding in utero. Speaking of “in
utero”, I was expecting our first child any day when we were playing bridge
with Jackie & her husband, Ben. My
water broke & we called my OB, the same one Jackie used. The doctor said I wasn’t ready to go to the
hospital yet & if I wasn’t feeling too much pain I should just continue our
bridge game. He felt comfortable leaving
me in Ben’s care. Ben was a
veterinarian. While waiting to “drop my
litter” I sat on several folded towels.
My mother called Jackie & her
maid answered & told her that she was sick & resting & couldn’t
come to the phone. My mom asked Pressie
what was wrong & then proceeded to tell her (in depth) how to take care of
her. When Pressie told Jackie about the
call she said, in all seriousness, “I didn’t know Fran’s mother was a
doctor!” My mom wasn’t a doctor—she was
simply a Jewish mother. Pressie
apparently hadn’t had too much experience with those.
The men in Jackie’s life: Her husband was a great
gardener. I don’t know the chemical
content of urine, but when their two young sons were playing in the backyard
& had to go potty, Ben had them pee on the bird of paradise plants. They didn’t have to be let into the house
& the plants flourished! Jackie
& I both smoked—in those days, everyone did. I was at her house when she asked bathrobe
clad 3 year old Michael to bring us an ashtray. He did, carefully polishing it with his robe
before handing it to us. I guess you
learn what you see. Another time, she
was taking a bath & we were talking.
Her other son, Glenn, then about 2, kept yelling, “Mommy! Mommy!”
She impatiently turned to him (she had been trying to teach him not to
interrupt) & said, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
A big smile crept onto his face
(he NOW had her attention) & he loudly said, “COOGIE!” When I could stop laughing, I got him one. (A cookie, that is.)
My husband just reminded me of this other
“Glenn/bathtub” story, which I CAN’T leave out!
Jackie was taking a bath & little Glenn was sitting on the edge of
the tub, intently staring at her & looking sad. She asked him what the problem was & he
said, “You got no penis! Where your
penis go?” She explained to him that
men & boys have a penis, but girls & women don’t. She said she was a woman so she had never had
one & that it was OK. He said, “I
got one.” She said, “Yes.” “Michael got one.” “Yes.”
“Daddy got one.” “Yes.” She asked him if he understood. He thought for a minute & his little face
brightened up. He said, “I know—Daddy
buy you one!!”
I was at her house to help her decorate her
Christmas tree. She asked me to bring
her a large box of glass ornaments, which she had put on top of the
toilet. I was carrying them to her when
I stumbled & dropped the box, breaking them all! I asked her what else I could do to help. She laughed & said I should just sit down
& watch—I had already helped enough!
She was one of those people who
could eat & eat—which she DID--& never gain an ounce. (Don’t you just hate those?) We were double dating one evening (before she met Ben) & were at Rand’s
Roundup, an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.
The four of us had just finished off two very full plates of food, each. Jackie got up to get more & asked her
date, “Aren’t you going to eat anything?”
Her date-- a large policeman with an appetite to match—could only
moan. (A sidebar about this restaurant:
They had a jukebox in the bar. There was
a small notice on it with the price. “10
cents a play. 2 for a quarter.” Such a deal!)
She was given a gift of chocolate covered ants & bumblebees &
invited me over. I was the only one she
knew who would be willing to try them with her.
They tasted sort of like a Nestle’s Crunch bar. They were good!
She told me about a new recipe for hors d’oeuvres
that she had found. It sounds odd, but
it’s delicious. You take 3 or 4 very
thin slices of salami, spread cream cheese on them, stack them, cut them in
quarters & top each stack with a small slice of sweet pickle. Cutting the stack of round salami slices leaves
you with 4 triangles, each with one side rounded. I guess she was thinking of something else
when we asked her what they were called.
She told us they were “triangle squares”--& to this day, that’s what
they are.
Ben was 12 years older than Jackie & had an
established veterinary practice when they married. They had four children quickly so he would
still be around to watch them grow up.
They say life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Jackie passed away when she was 40 & her
children were in their teens. Her
services were held in a chapel that seated around 100 people. It was filled to overflowing & probably
twice that many more mourners listened to the service by way of loudspeakers
while sitting on the grass outside. She
was loved by a lot of people! Her
husband was left to raise their children & did that job beautifully. He never remarried. He was in his 80’s when he died.
I just made some triangle squares,
Jackie. Want one?----fishducky
PS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE. Funny stuff!!
PS--If you didn't get enough laughs today, read Melynda's books--JUST NONSENSE & MORE NONSENSE. Funny stuff!!