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Monday, January 28, 2013

KEEP DIGGING! THERE'S A BRAIN IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!

My husband tried to take out a new insurance policy on me.  He was refused.  They claimed "weirdness" was a preexisting condition.

Our friend, Joe, was the president of a rather large organization.  He had to speak at all their meetings.  He was a little over 6' tall & usually had to raise the microphone before he spoke.  Once, though, he followed a speaker who was about 6'6" & he tried to lower the microphone to his level.  It got stuck!  After a few tries, he was successful.  He opened his talk with a line he had been saving for years: "That's the first time I ever had trouble getting it DOWN!"

Our son. Blake, was a hypochondriac as a kid.  Thank heaven, he grew out of it.  We used to think that if you changed the name & dates, this could have been his tombstone, although we have no need for one, yet:


When he was around 8 years old, he was acting up--running around me & driving me crazy.  I grabbed at him to make him stop & got his hand.  He claimed I hurt him but I couldn't see anything wrong.  He kept complaining so Bud took him to the ER.  When they came home, Blake had a splint on his little finger.  He looked at me & told me, with a very smug smile, "See?  I told you that you broke my finger!"  It's amazing what little it takes to make some kids happy!

While I think of it, some other funny tombstones:



I love this one:



Our sweet daughter, Nameless, once told us, "I love you two so much that I'm going to live with you forever!"  That would have been adorable if she was 3 or 4 years old, but she was in her teens at the time!  She just said it to drive us nuts--& it worked!!

When our three kids were all under 10 years old, we took them & my sister-in-law's three (the same age as ours) on a trip to the Grand Canyon.  People would ask us if we were all one family.  The kids usually told them, "No, we left the little ones at home!"  I think it would have been funnier to tell them this:

A man boarded a plane with six kids.  After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours ? "
He replied, " No, Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints. "


I make stained glass windows.  Here are some examples:

In our entry hall:




Over our daughter's front door:

The reason I mention it is that I once was a volunteer decorating the Rose Bowl floats.  That made me believe in karma.  The float I worked on was a replica of a Victorian style house.  They had me do the stained glass windows!  (Volunteer if you get the chance--it's a lot of work but also lots of fun!)

I once heard about a woman who was extremely proud of how beautifully her dog was trained.  He would never eat anything without being given permission to do so.  She was giving a cocktail party one evening & had set down a tray of canapes on a coffee table in the living room while she went to take a shower.  Her dog must have really liked them--he hadn't eaten any, but was busily licking the tops of all of them when she came back into the room!  (No, I don't know if she served them to her guests or not.)

This may be her dog discussing it with a friend:

This has nothing to do with today's post. 
 I just had to show it to you!
What would you do if a bear suddenly came out of nowhere?



Sometimes I stay on a theme--obviously NOT today!----fishducky

P.S.  Melynda of CRAZY WORLD is taking a little (I hope) vacation from blogging.  She's selling those wonderful Herbalife products online.  Check her out at https://www.GoHerbalife.com/melyndafleury/en-US

    

25 comments:

  1. Funny... the videos of the bear and the 2 dogs on skype. Some dogs are just more talkative than others.

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    1. Do you & Cody have deep conversations, too?

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  2. How funny are those tombstones. Interesting timing...I just bought my tombstone and have been thinking about what to put on it other than my name.

    Love your stained glass. Beautiful...what a talent you have.

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    1. I hope you don't need it for another hundred years or so...

      Thank you!!

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  3. I love stained glass and I adore yours! I have a friend who works on floats for the Rose Bowl parade and he loves it. I'm really glad Branden's not a hypochondriac or I'd probably kill him ;)

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    1. Thanks! If he becomes one, Cheryl has a tombstone she won't be using for a while--maybe you can borrow it!

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  4. My husband thinks that those dogs on skype are dubbed by human voices.
    Those stained glass works are nice.

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    1. Possible, but I sincerely doubt it--see Janie's letter below--& thanks!!

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  5. I love the condom joke and the dogs on skype. When they started talking, my boys joined the conversation. Yesterday they sang twice (howling, usually to the sound of a siren). I call them The Vienna Boys Choir.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I love the howling--but only for a minute or two on video!!

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  6. Beautiful stained glass irises - you obviously have a talent for it! Jo

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    1. Thank you--I LOVE working with stained glass!!

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  7. That stained glass is amazing!! So much talent. :) I would write more, but somewhere under all the cold medicine is my brain, and I'm having difficulty seeing through the fog.

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    1. Thank you!! Hope your fog clears up soon!!

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    2. Sadly, the fog has cleared and left me a perfect view of the disaster that is my house. Geez... does NO ONE know how to wash a dish around here?

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  8. Your stained glass is beautiful. I love it when the dead have a sense of humor. I mean, eternity is a long time to be serious.

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  9. Hey, thanks for all the grins and chuckles. Always a pleasure to stop by and see what you've been up to. Hehehehe!

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    1. I try to serve grins & chuckles whenever I can--do you want fries with that?

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  10. I had no idea you were so artistic, and you hiding your light under the bushel for so long.

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    1. I've always felt I would be perfect if only I weren't so damn modest!!

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  11. Dear Fishducky, I agree with Manzanita--some dogs are just more talkative than others....and so are some cats. Maggie's always yammering at me! Peace.

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    1. I assume by now you can understand what she's saying!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.