My husband tried to take out a new insurance policy on me. He was refused. They claimed "weirdness" was a preexisting condition.
Our friend, Joe, was the president of a rather large organization. He had to speak at all their meetings. He was a little over 6' tall & usually had to raise the microphone before he spoke. Once, though, he followed a speaker who was about 6'6" & he tried to lower the microphone to his level. It got stuck! After a few tries, he was successful. He opened his talk with a line he had been saving for years: "That's the first time I ever had trouble getting it DOWN!"
Our son. Blake, was a hypochondriac as a kid. Thank heaven, he grew out of it. We used to think that if you changed the name & dates, this could have been his tombstone, although we have no need for one, yet:
When he was around 8 years old, he was acting up--running around me & driving me crazy. I grabbed at him to make him stop & got his hand. He claimed I hurt him but I couldn't see anything wrong. He kept complaining so Bud took him to the ER. When they came home, Blake had a splint on his little finger. He looked at me & told me, with a very smug smile, "See? I told you that you broke my finger!" It's amazing what little it takes to make some kids happy!
While I think of it, some other funny tombstones:
I love this one:
Our sweet daughter, Nameless, once told us, "I love you two so much that I'm going to live with you forever!" That would have been adorable if she was 3 or 4 years old, but she was in her teens at the time! She just said it to drive us nuts--& it worked!!
When our three kids were all under 10 years old, we took them & my sister-in-law's three (the same age as ours) on a trip to the Grand Canyon. People would ask us if we were all one family. The kids usually told them, "No, we left the little ones at home!" I think it would have been funnier to tell them this:
He replied, " No, Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints. "
I make stained glass windows. Here are some examples:
Over our daughter's front door:
The reason I mention it is that I once was a volunteer decorating the Rose Bowl floats. That made me believe in karma. The float I worked on was a replica of a Victorian style house. They had me do the stained glass windows! (Volunteer if you get the chance--it's a lot of work but also lots of fun!)
I once heard about a woman who was extremely proud of how beautifully her dog was trained. He would never eat anything without being given permission to do so. She was giving a cocktail party one evening & had set down a tray of canapes on a coffee table in the living room while she went to take a shower. Her dog must have really liked them--he hadn't eaten any, but was busily licking the tops of all of them when she came back into the room! (No, I don't know if she served them to her guests or not.)
This may be her dog discussing it with a friend:
This has nothing to do with today's post.
I just had to show it to you!
What would you do if a bear suddenly came out of nowhere?
Sometimes I stay on a theme--obviously NOT today!----fishducky
P.S. Melynda of CRAZY WORLD is taking a little (I hope) vacation from blogging. She's selling those wonderful Herbalife products online. Check her out at https://www.GoHerbalife.com/melyndafleury/en-US