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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

WRITER'S BLOCK IS NO MATCH FOR FISHDUCKY



Sometimes I just can’t seem to decide on what subject (or subjects) to write about,
so I just write about everything—like today!

Back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth  During the Dark Ages  Before the TV remote was invented, you had to actually get off your butt the couch & go to the TV to change the channel.  That is, unless you had kids.  Once, when our youngest son was about 6 or 7, my husband asked him to change the channel.  (At that age, what else are they good for?)  Bud had apparently made this request once too often, because as he was walking towards the TV our son turned & asked his father, "Who changed the channel for you before you guys had kids?"  He got an honest answer--"Your mother!"

We gave a dinner party for our neighbors at our beach condo.  Almost all of the owners were senior citizens, but our guests also included a younger couple with a 3 year old daughter, Lexi.  I loved this kid!  An animated conversation was going on at the table & Lexi was making a comment.  One of the other guests started to speak & Lexi just looked at him & politely but firmly said, "Excuse me, I was talking!"  Not bad for 3 years old!!

How to insult your husband without him getting upset: My husband was just sitting around, doing nothing, & I told him he was "my idol".  At least, that's what he thought I said.  He was very pleased.  What I actually told him was that he was "my idle".  What he doesn't know won't hurt him!  I COULD HAVE asked him to do this:


For those of you out there who are still fond of your husband, a joke:

The Good Old Days

Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?"

Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his

With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"

Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" 

Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"

Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"



A stripper wanted Bud to handle her lawsuit.  The Post Office claimed that a film she made was too lewd to send through the mail.  He had to watch the film to make a judgment, so she gave him a copy.  His dad had the right kind of movie viewer so we took it to his house.  It was tame by today's standards.  There was one part where she had her back to the camera & was bent over with her hands on her knees, swaying her butt from side to side.  My father-in-law looked at it & commented, "Just put a tail on her & she would go "Moo!!"
Not his actual client

Which reminds me, there was a study done recently on women's ass sizes & how they felt about them.  Here are the results:

My philosophy:




Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley
----fishducky

P.S.  Melynda of CRAZY WORLD is taking a little (I hope) vacation from blogging.  She's selling those wonderful Herbalife products online.  Check her out at https://www.GoHerbalife.com/melyndafleury/en-US













10 comments:

  1. Yeah, but the bowling shows have Velcro and I prefer laces. But on the plus side, they go with every color outfit. :)

    And how did the PO know it was too lewd? Did it fall within the "Anything hazardous, liquid, fragile or perishable... like lithium batteries or perfume?" Because if it did, that must have been SOME movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right--they DO go with everything!!

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  2. Large women's behinds seem to be in style because of Kim Kardashian. What will hers look like when she is 50, since most women seem to spread in that direction. Probably not hers now that I think about it. I call them the plastic family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have other--mostly unprintable--names for them!!

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  3. I was wondering about the post office too. Do the have inspectors who do nothing but watch videos all day long to determine what's lewd and what isn't? Some job if you can get it!!! I never had much of an ass and whenever I grow a little something there, my hubby gets very pleased.

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    Replies
    1. I have no idea, but I think I should look into it--& APPLY!!

      Delete
  4. Going to get my teeth! Love it, but she might prefer him without his teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never thought of that!! Is gumming her a sign of affection?

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  5. Dear Fishducky, tonight I'll go to Weight Watchers and weigh in. I've lost 14 pounds since the last week of August--so that 14 pounds in five months and I'm feeling good about that because I take a medication that makes losing weight difficult. The reason I'm mentioning this is because of that survey. I'd say that my behind/rear/ass/derriere is just about right!!!!! Peace.

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations!! Mine's too big, but I can't get HIM to lose weight!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.