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Monday, February 11, 2013

THE PHRASE, “FISHDUCKY’S BRAIN”, IS NOT AN OXYMORON!




My friend, Barbara, can’t handle food that’s too spicy.  We went out for breakfast to a place where we had eaten before.  Barbara wanted sausage--they offered both link & patty--& she remembered that one was spicier than the other, but she couldn’t remember which.  She asked the waitress the difference between the two sausages.  She was told that the link was long, like a cigar, & the patty was sort of like a hamburger.  Scary—this woman is allowed to drive, vote & reproduce!  Even scarier—she probably went home & told her family that she’d had some customers who were so stupid that they didn’t know the difference between link & patty sausage.
I am a right-brained person.  I am an artist, a writer (I hope) & foreign languages come fairly easily to me.  My husband, however, is left-brained.  He’s a lawyer & accountant & a very logical thinker.  (Do I hear anyone asking if that’s true, why did he marry me?)  That’s why, when someone claims that we don’t have a brain between us, we can truthfully tell them, “You’re wrong—we have ONE!!”
And now, off to other subjects—of course!  (I told you that I wasn’t logical.)
Blake was about 8 when we borrowed a station wagon & took our 3 & Bud’s sister’s 3 kids to Las Vegas, Bryce Canyon, Zion & the Grand Canyon.  That meant there were 8 of us at every meal.   It  always took 2 people to bring us our order.  One night a waitress brought our entire order on ONE tray.  We applauded!  A couple of days later, Blake was reminiscing.  He asked, “Do you remember when we gave that waitress the clap?”  (I have absolutely NO idea where he’d heard that term.)
In case you’re wondering why I use so many exclamation points when I write—I THINK in exclamation points!!!!!
I have a hat that is guaranteed against any contingency, even loss.  I’m wearing it here.  I will NEVER lose the guarantee.  


My father was the gentlest, kindest man I ever knew.  I only remember hearing him yell once.  At me!  He was teaching me to drive & I guess I came a teensy weensy bit too close to the cars that were parked.  He threw both arms back against the seat (as if readying for crucifixion) & shouted, “WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”  I don’t know why he yelled—I didn’t hit anybody!







Men wake up as good looking as when they went to bed.  Women somehow deteriorate during the night----fishducky




20 comments:

  1. Dear Fran, I wish the picture of you was clearer. Your beauty still comes through.
    I must have the other kind of brain. I think I would have answered the same as the waitress. Hope your weekend was smashing.

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    1. Thank you--you are very sweet. At least we both have SOME kind of brain!!

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  2. My dad taught me how to drive, too. He took me to the interstate and said, DRIVE. So I drove. He didn't yell even once. I don't know if he was drunk or napping.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I understand lots of dads sleep while "teaching" their kids to drive!

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  3. I want to see her beat the stuffing out of him.

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  4. But then men don't look so good when they turn in for the night.

    My brain is both sided. It functions inapropriatly in all occasions.

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    1. It functions pretty well when you post!

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  5. Dear Fishducky, I surely liked Joeh's comment. Like his brain, mine "functions inappropriately in all occasions!" Please note the exclamation point. I like to use it a lot in my e-mails but I try not to do so in my blogs, but sometimes, I just can't resist!!!!! !! Peace.

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    1. Me, either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. Not me... I actually look better when I wake up. Then the day starts, and all the chaos comes back to me. :)

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    1. I always believed it was only in the movies that a woman woke up with her makeup on & her hair combed!! May I ask when is your next film?

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    2. I'm more of a wild and natural beauty. :)

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  7. Comment #1 "The link was long, like a cigar, & the patty was sort of like a hamburger." I would've DIED laughing when she said that. I love people who state the obvious. It's like getting an unexpected present.

    Comment #2 I wish I could've met your father.

    Comment #3 The Zombie neurologist = LOLOLOLOL! :)

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    1. #1--We couldn't believe it!

      #2--He would have loved you!!

      #3--I love that cartoon series!!

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  8. I appreciate the funniness of all of the above, as always. However, you made me realize the reason I'm good at a lot of stuff, but don't excel at anything the way you do as an artist and Mr. F. as a lawyer and accountant, may well be because my brain is equally functional on both sides. I wonder if studies have been done on this.

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    1. I think you're wrong--you excel at photography!!

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  9. From MELYNDA--I know you are not gonna believe this but I'm one of the few people that is both right and left brain though more right than left. I confused the hell out of their test. It was awesome. Phil is left brained for sure. Math is his forte and he loves it. I think your son had the same thought as elisa when it comes to giving someone the clap lol

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.