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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

PLACES I’D RATHER NOT LIVE IN


I wouldn’t last long in India—their rules are too confusing:

Notices in English for tourists in Gujarat-India

In an Ahmedabad Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.


In a Surat hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


In the elevator in Hotel Tex Pallazo, Surat :
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.  
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Baroda hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Jamnagar :
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily

In an Ahmedabad hotel near Gujarat College
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bhavnagar hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is requested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In a Anand laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a hotel at Junagadh:Take one of our horse driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In the office of a Ahmedabad gynecologist:
Specialist in women and other diseases

In a Bharuch hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.





There are a whole lot of cities & towns in the US I’d rather not live in—or even visit.  Here is just a small sample of the hundreds I found (& they ALL really exist!):

Asylum, PA
Big Butt, NC
Boogertown, NC
Boring, MD
Cyclone, WV
Ding Dong, TN
Doghouse Junction, CA
Dynamite, WA
Eek, AK
Embarrass, WI
Finger, TN                                          
Ghoul Creek, WA
Gun Barrel City, TX
Hateful Hill, VT
Hell For Certain, KY
Hellhole Palms, CA
Hooker Corner, IL
Lawyers, VA
Looneyville, TX
Mosquitoville, VT
Mud Hole, FL
Nameless, TN (Although I might send my daughter there)
Not, MO 
Nowhere, OK
Odd, WV
Ordinary, KY
Peculiar, MO
Pee Pee, OH
Poop Creek, OR
Poor Town, NC
Purgatory, ME
Roachtown, IL
Satan’s Kingdom, RI
Spider, KY (I put this one in for Maggie)
Suckerville, ME
Tick Bite, NC
Tightwad, MO 
Waterproof, LA
Wimp. CA


Here are some that I MIGHT consider:

Good Intent, NJ
Novelty, OH
Okay, OK
Sensation, AZ
Surprise, AZ



Actually, I MIGHT consider
some of these, too!








And I DEFINITELY would like to go to:

Cash, AR
Cool, CA
Helper, UT
Hot Coffee, MS
Nice, CA
Perfection, NY
Superior, WI
Welcome, FL
Wise, VA

And there’s always:

Why, AZ
Why Not, MS






BIG NEWS!!!!! (At least for me):

“Fishducky’s Fables” (a brand new book written by me and released by Wayman Publishing) will be available on Amazon beginning this Friday, March 29th.  Barnes and Noble will have it in about 6 weeks.  You can get it as an ebook for $3.99 or in paperback for $8.99.  This is what it looks like on the outside.  (The inside’s even better!)  No, that is not my picture on the cover.

But wait, there’s more!  From now until the end of May, any time you purchase one of Wayman Publishing's books/eBooks and send the verifiable receipt number to waymansweepstakes@gmail.com you will be automatically entered for a chance to win an iPad mini! 

Go here for further details:




This is sort of cool--I've never been an atlas before----fishducky





37 comments:

  1. Funny stuff, I'll be Nooking the book.

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    Replies
    1. Sounds fair--I already have both of yours!!

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  2. I will post one of your paintings on my blog today and provide a link to this post. You have really outdone even yourself today! I laughed so hard.......

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  3. I grew up near Climax, MN. I've been there multiple times!
    (popped over from Inger's blog)

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    Replies
    1. Nice to meet someone who's had multiple experience with Climax(es)!!

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  4. Really fun post. Loved the old woman in her flip flop time share.
    Will check out your book on Amazon Friday.

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    1. Welcome, Patti--hope you like the book!!

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  5. Very cute pieces of fun -- visiting from Inger & Samson's place. :)

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    1. Welcome, Nancy! I love Inger's blog!!

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  6. I left my values in the bar long ago. That's how I got pregnant.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Like the old expression goes--shit (I mean people) happens!

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  7. From Melynda: Congrats my friend! If you will send me an autographed copy I would gladly pay for it! I can't read it of course but a fish sucky original is nothing to sneeze at! By the way you def do NOT want to live in Niceville Ut. You and I would never survive their tight ass rules lol

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    Replies
    1. Thank, Melynda! I have to assume you meant fish DUCKY & not fish SUCKY!!

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  8. A fun post. Those signs in India were a hoot, especially the one about taking advantage of the chambermaid.

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    Replies
    1. I knew you'd like it--the timing was just a fluke!!

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  9. Pee Pee, Ohio?? LOL I'm sending Gracie to live there! Congrats on your book!

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    Replies
    1. She should love it there--& thank you!!

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  10. You forgot DAMNDIFINO, FL :) It's on the west coast I think.

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  11. Hey, we've real near Boring, Oregon. We have a sister city relationship with Dull, Ireland. Love seeing it come up in the newspapers: "Boring man arraigned on charges."

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    1. I'd love to see the headline: "Boring man arraigned on charges of public nudity & inciting a riot"!!

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  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  13. Dear Fishducky, I laughed outloud at the "Travel log" cartoon!!!!! Thanks. Peace.

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  14. Dear Fishducky, PS. I just ordered the download of your ebook. It's going to be so much fun reading it! Peace.

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    Replies
    1. Even though we've never met in person, I've always loved you!!

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  15. I'm so glad some of my friends came over to visit you and enjoy the fun and some also decided to follow the fun over here. That is so great! I love you too.

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  16. PS -- That painting I posted is absolutely fabulous. The more I look at it, the more I love it.

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  17. I was hoping you wouldn't forget about Intercourse (PA). Will be checking out your book!!

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  18. Congratulations! I'm so proud of you :)

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.