Wednesday, April 24, 2013


There are a lot of country songs out there with unbelievably sweet, absolutely lovely names, like the title of this post, which is the REAL title of a REAL song. So are these (just call me a sentimental old fool):

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreen's & I Cried All the Way to Sears

I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You

If I Killed You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out of Jail By Now

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels I'd Blow It All On You

If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave

I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home

Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You

I Got Tears in My Ears From Lyin' on My Back in My Bed While I Cried Over You

May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose

She Got the Gold Mine & I Got the Shaft

Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

All the Gold in California is in a Bank in the Middle of Beverly Hills in Somebody Else's Name

There Ain't Enough Room in My Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All my Lovin' For You

When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Goodbye

Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I  Sold a Car to the Guy Who Stole My Girl, But it Don't Run So We're Even

How Can I Miss you If You Won't Go Away

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink & I Don't Love You

In case you thought I was kidding:

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag--hey, that would be a great name for a country song!----fishducky


  1. These are hilrious! Not being a country music fan I hadn't heard of, much less made fun of, these titles. I do know of a couple you missed, however: "How can I get over you when you won't get out from under him?" and "You done stomped the aorta of my love" ;)


    1. It's not that I missed them--I had to be selective or the list would have been several posts long!!

  2. Thanks for the chuckle. Sadly I have heard most of them. One you missed and a favorite of mine was:
    "Work your fingers to the bone what do you get? Boney fingers. "

  3. These are funny and I know they are true, living here in Hicksville. All the names of the country songs are a real hoot, esp the I'd rather pass a kidney stone than spend another night with you.

    1. I only included the creme de la creme, as it were!!

  4. All good, my favorite

    "I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well"

  5. So much to laugh at here, but my favorite: Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

  6. I like country music, well, some country music. I never heard of any of these, but I must say that one with the Fruit of the Loom, tickled my imagination.

  7. "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"


  8. My baby thinks he's a train...

    Then there was the John Deere Tractor one.

    It's a long time since I've listened to CW.

  9. I love the song "I'll pray for you"... some lyrics...

    I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
    I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
    And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
    I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
    I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
    I pray all your dreams never come true
    Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

    Lyrics from eLyrics.net

    1. How sweet!! For the sake of your marriage, I hope that's not "your song"!!

  10. I recognize a few of those. Thanks for listing the rest. I love country music lyrics and titles. I just can't handle all the whining music.

  11. I like Mufferd and sons. They are cool country.

    1. i'm not familiar with them--I stopped at Glen Campbell!!

  12. Those titles are awesome. One of my favorites was: I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You. LOL!


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