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Monday, April 22, 2013

NEW OLD SAYINGS


There are many old sayings which we have accepted as true.  However, I believe that to stay true they have to be adjusted--to be brought up to date.  So I did:

Familiarity breeds contempt children.

No news is good news not very interesting.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger extremely nervous.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush will make a big mess.

A penny saved is a penny earned not much.

Marry in haste, repent in leisure divorce court.

Keep your nose to the grindstone & you can avoid rhinoplasty.

Walls have ears & potatoes have eyes.

The leopard does not change his spots underwear.

Variety is the spice of life, but chili needs cumin.

The early bird catches the worm, but the lazy worms get to safely sleep in .

Be it ever so humble there's no place like home, but some are not up to code.

Blood is thicker than water, so NEVER use it to thin out your soup.

Charity begins at home, except for yard sales.

A man's house is his castle & there are alligators in my moat.

Any port in a storm--or cabernet or reisling.

Cold hands, warm heart--cold feet, different bed.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you before they do unto you.

Nothing lasts forever except taxes.

One hand washes the other dishes.

The best things in life are free on Ebay.

Change is inevitable, unless nothing happens.

Everything comes to those who wait order online.

Nothing is certain except death & taxes shipping & handling.

The camera doesn't lie, except when you use Photoshop.

Confession is good for the soul & the Catholic Church.

You win some, you lose some--it doesn't necessarily even out.

History repeats itself, itself, itself...

A miss is as good as a mile mister.

You are what you eat & today I'm a pastrami sandwich.






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I'd explain what I wrote, but your brain would explode----fishducky



24 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thangyewver'much--fishducky has left the building!!

      Delete
  2. OMG the cartoons had me ROFL...or whatever that is. They are really funny, especially that first one is so true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was actually a picture of my son-in-law!!

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  3. After the week we have all put in, a good belly laugh really hit the spot. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Seize the day... this one is mine.

    LOVE THAT.

    Kind of like "I can only please one person a day. Today's not looking good for you. Tomorrow's not either."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH... and if life's like a box of chocolate laxatives, shall I take that to mean "same sh!t, different day"?

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    2. My mother-in-law's favorite phrase was CARPE DIEM! As for the chocolate laxatives, I hadn't thought of that--but it's TRUE!!

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  5. magnificent post, very informatіve. I'm wondering why the opposite experts of this sector do not understand this. You should proceed your writing. I am sure, you've а hugе readeгs' base already!

    Here is my homepage: payday loans

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only reason I didn't delete this is JOEH'S comment below!

      Delete
  6. You are sooo funnyyyyyy!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I even amuse (& surprise) myself!!!

      Delete
  7. Yes, Anonymous this is an informative post...also very funny

    Here is my homepage www.f*ckspam!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When people discuss my post the word "informative" is seldom used!!

      Delete
  8. I am chocolate milk. The next book I will read is YOURS! I'm looking forward to it.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear chocolate milk, do you promise?

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    2. Yes, I promise.

      Love,
      Chocolate Milk

      Delete
  9. The best things in life are on E-Bay? Very funny!

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL this is very funny. I rather get cramps in my stomach after reading your blog post and laughing instead of Asthma medication.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that a nice way of saying that my posts make you sick?

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Belly laughs are good exercise for your insides!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.