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Friday, April 12, 2013

THE TOWER OF BABBLE (Yes, that's spelled correctly!)





I looked in the mirror the other day & I screamed!  My husband came running in & asked me what the matter was.  I handed him the mirror & asked what he saw.  He said, “Me.”  I said, “Thank Goodness!  I thought it was ME!”  (I’m 78, but I think I’m going to start telling everyone I’m 88.  I look so-so for 78, but I look GREAT for 88!)

Maybe I should get rid of my bathroom mirror 
& replace it with this:
pinterest

OK, so the first part of this wasn’t true.  The rest of this post is.  What really bothers me is that I’m shrinking—in height, not around the waist.  I was 24 when I first became pregnant--past the age of growing--& I was 5' 5 1/2" tall.  I had four pregnancies & somehow grew 1/4" with each one.  I went in for a checkup recently & our family physician—we’ll call him Dr. Smartass--asked me how tall I was now!  

When our son Blake was in high school his friend David came to see me.  He had a loose wire in his car radio & I was the only one of his friend’s mothers that he KNEW had a soldering Iron.  I didn’t mind helping him.  We had the house where all the kid’s friends hung out & felt comfortable.  Poor David!  Blake & his brother must have had ESP as to when I went marketing.  They were never there when I got home, but there would be David, waiting for Blake, when I drove up with a week’s groceries for our family.  He helped me schlep them up the stairs & into the kitchen.  Actually, he probably got as many (or more) of the “goodies” I bought as our boys did.


You know where it says on your car’s side mirrors “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”?  I once changed Bud’s to read “Objects in mirror are stupider than they appear”.  I thought it was funny.  He hadn’t even noticed.

 I suddenly had a thought.  (WHAT?  It COULD happen!)  As my husband & I are getting older—at least HE is—it’s getting more & more difficult to read the menus in some less than well-lit restaurants.  Wouldn’t menus that glow in the dark be a great idea?  Never mind.  As they say in the Mafia, “When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you!”




One of Bud’s first clients when he started practicing law was a woman who was accused of shoplifting.  Her defense was that while she was walking past the meat counter in a supermarket, some lamb chops jumped into her purse.  With much difficulty (& the surveillance photos), he finally convinced her to plead guilty.  He also had a client who (allegedly) wrote a series of bad checks.  He got her off, but he wasn’t stupid.  He insisted she pay him in cash!

Anthony Newley, the songwriter, was married to the beautiful Joan Collins.  They were with another couple at a topless beach in the south of France.  Both of the men were ogling the “bouncing beach beauties”, which made their wives angry.  Newley said he thought he could have convinced his wife he wasn’t ogling, if only it weren’t for that little bit of drool that kept coming out of the corner of his mouth.

Another celebrity quote: Yogi Berra (the catcher, not the Hanna Barbera character) was making dinner plans with some friends.  One of them suggested a certain restaurant.  Yogi said, “No, it’s too popular.  NOBODY goes there, anymore!”  And some non-celebrity (my sons’) quotes: Blake asked me last year if I had found all the Easter eggs I’d hidden.  I asked him, “How the hell should I know?”  When Matt was about 3 or 4 he asked me if there were still dinosaurs when I was little.  I told him most of them were gone & it was reasonably safe to walk the streets.

I can't remember why I wanted to put this in:




A couple of months ago the high temperature here on a Monday was 49F.  Two day later, on Wednesday, it was 82.  My question is, why can’t God make up His mind?


Bud & I were at a restaurant with our daughter, her husband & their two teenaged daughters.  One of the girls said that some movie star, I think it was Johnny Depp, was cool.  Their father asked, “What about me?  I’m cool.”  They laughed & told him, “Dad, you’re not cool!”  He asked if their mom was cool.  “No.”  “What about Grandpa?  Is Grandpa cool?”  They thought for a minute & said, “Not really.”  He then asked, “How about Grandma?  Is she…”  Before he could finish his question, they answered, in one voice, “Yeah, Grandma’s cool!”















If you haven't gotten my book yet, don't worry--
you can click  HERE to buy it on Amazon.


But wait, there’s more!  From now until the end of May, anytime you purchase one of Wayman Publishing's books/eBooks and send the verifiable receipt number to waymansweepstakes(at)gmail.com you will be automatically entered for a chance to win an iPad mini! 


Go hear Elisa's interview tonight!!
Fri, April 12, 8:30 PM EDT
Triangle Variety Radio





----the certified cool fishducky



25 comments:

  1. Yay! There is hope that I can still grow!! ...even if it means that I will lose it in years to come. At least I'm in the right country to become a leprechaun!

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    1. Do not despair--there is still hope!!

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  2. )! P! ol &!

    I give up, there must be a way to do one of those thingies to look like a "Thumbs Up!"

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    1. The only thing I can find is a cheerleader going "Yay!"

      *\0/*

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  3. Replies
    1. According to my grandchildren, anyway!!

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  4. I think most of us would be happier if we replaced our bathroom mirror with a sign saying "you look fine."

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    Replies
    1. WE might be, but how about the people who have to look at us?

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  5. I think that glow in the dark menus are a fantastic idea. Though personally, I think the way of the future is digital menus... you know, like a kindle screen that can be updated as the kitchen runs out of things and that, with the touch of a finger, you can enlarge the print.

    That way Tony doesn't have to ask me to read the menu to him when he forgets his glasses.

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  6. A lot of couples, when they get older, can use each other's glasses--saves carrying 2 sets!!

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  7. Thanks for the plug. You're a doll!

    P.S. Did you hear me promote your book in the interview? I hope a ton of readers will check it out.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, ma'am, I did--THANK YOU!! The interview went great--but I knew it would!!

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  8. Dear Fishducky, "Pickles" is just about my favorite cartoon strip. It's in the Kansas City Star daily so I have a moment of pure enjoyment when I open the paper each morning. Peace.

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  9. Did I tell you I keep shrinking and that I soon will be as short as my hubby? I kind of like it, but then I once was pretty tall. Thanks for the giggles again.

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    2. He probably wouldn't mind that--& you're welcome again!!

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  10. It's so funny the way young kids view old folsies. And before they know it, they are there too.

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    Replies
    1. I guess someday you & I will get old, too!!

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  11. LOL I remember a kid saying that before mainstream was mainstream it was weird.

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  12. Could be--before uncool was cool, I was weird!!

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  14. Grandma is definitely cool! :)

    I used to be almost 5'2" and now I am closer to 5'. But I do keep making up for it in width. ;)

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    Replies
    1. My gain in width has overcompensated for my loss of height!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.