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Friday, May 10, 2013

THE PET AND THE PENDULUM













I think there are entirely too many "Fido's" & "Fluffy's"  out there.  I'm not objecting to the number of dogs & cats--just their names.  We say they're just like members of our families & we wouldn't name our baby "Baby", so why don't we put more time & effort into choosing our pet's names?  There are hundreds of names, which, with minor adjustments, would work beautifully.

If your pet shows artistic talent, may I suggest Picatso, Salvador Doggy or Hieronymus Barks?

An animal that insists on having its own way could be Cattitude or Dogmatic.

One that displays a literary bent  might like to be Edgar Allan Poodle, Oedipus Rex, Winnie the Pooper or even Dog Quixote.

If he loves curling up with you & watching Netflix movies, some good choices might be Ben Purr, Edward Scissorclaws, Hairy Potter, Farticus (This name is usually reserved for older rescue dogs), The Purrminator, or Dogzilla.

A kitty who resembles a statue by sitting absolutely still would obviously be Catatonic.

A hearty eater could be Corndog, Catbury Chocolate (for brown cats only), Frank Furter (for wiener dogs/dachshunds only) or Chicken Poodle Soup.

If your pet doesn't like to stay at home, how about Africat, Catmandu, Genghis Khat or Barko Polo?

A dog who is interested in redesigning your yard should be Tommy Holedigger.

It might be possible for your dog to get on TV if he were named Anderson Pooper.

For a pet with the stuff that legends are made of, there's Purrsephone or Sir Prancelot.

He might bring in a few extra dollars if he were a Telebarketer.

If you think he's cat or dog enough to run the country, have you considered Chairman Meow or Bark Obama?

I just heard there is a REAL field champion labrador retriever named Debbie Does Ducks.

If none of these names appeal to you, you could name your furry family member At Random (so you could tell people you just named him At Random), Dammit (so you could say, "Come, Dammit" or "Sit, Dammit") or Peeve (so you could introduce him by saying, "This is my pet, Peeve.")

Some appropriate quotes:

"One reason a pet can be such a comfort to you when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why."
--Source unknown

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
--Rita Rudner

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at absolutely nothing right in your ear."
--Dave Barry










Imagine that you are a singer & that you accompany yourself on the piano. 
You have a small dog who is your constant companion.  
He always sits & watches as you rehearse. 
Now imagine that you must be away for a couple of hours.  
You leave the dog alone at home.  
You can't imagine what causes the neighbors to complain while you're gone,
 so you set up a nanny-cam.
(The owner was not at home when this was recorded.)
Thank you, Dee--I love this!!

                                        

Sometimes dogs & cats have to work together.
This is called, "How to get your cat inside".

Check out Elisa's Random Acts of Kindness 
Blogfest HERE


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you can click  HERE to buy it on Amazon
or HERE on Goodreads.





I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.


PS--Just got this email--in case you're up to reading some more:

Dogs come when you call them.  Cats take a message & get back to you when they're good & ready.

Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire.  Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.  

Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.  Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon.  Cats will take a 3 hour nap.

Dogs will sit on the seat next to you in your car.  Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

Dogs will greet you & lick your face when you come home from work.  Cats will be angry that you went to work at all.

Dogs will sit, lie down & heel on command.  Cats will smirk & walk away.

Dogs will tilt their heads & listen whenever you talk.  Cats will yawn & close their eyes.

Dogs will give you unconditional love forever.  Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.


23 comments:

  1. Mr. Chewey is currently trying to attack the small bird that is flying around outside trying to figure out what happened to the tree in the front yard that came down yesterday (on purpose) from inside the house. It's hysterical.

    Chewey was his name after two stents in kitty impound. I suspect it was because he chews on EVERYTHING, or that he makes a chewbacca sound while "talking".

    We call him "Mr." because he's proper like that. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least his name describes him!!

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    2. The neighbor's kid had a completely black goldfish named Obama. He died last week.

      The coroner's report said natural causes, but we suspect a well executed assassination, and republican cover up. :)

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    3. You're probably right--but it's hard to exhume a body that's been flushed!!

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  2. Love Bark Obama, My next pet is definately going to be named Peeve! Unless it's a gold fish, then it will be named "Fishducky!"

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  3. Dear Fishducky, I laughed out loud at "Telebarketer." And the two video were so enjoyable. Did I send you the first one or is that from another "Dee"? The second one was a hoot. Never, ever would I have imagined that a small dog like that could herd and carry a cat/kitten! Wow! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are my only "Dee"--thanks for the video!!

      Delete
  4. Dear Fishducky, there's no Wednesday posting here. Were you sick? Did it got lost in the ethernet???? Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a post scheduled for Wednesday. Somehow it didn't run. I rescheduled it for today, but it still didn't run. If it works, there'll be two posts on Monday. Do you think Google is just being critical?

      Delete
    2. Dear Fishducky, I can't believe that Google would be critical of you--the wittiest of all bloggers. No, I think that the Universe folded in upon itself and sent your blog out hither and yon to the vast beyond. Peace.

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  5. What outstanding names! I once had (or I guess she had me) F. Cat Fitzgerald. Our other cats were Milhous and Charlotte Mew. Charlotte Mew is the name of an obscure British poet. The dogs in my life have been Faulkner (the only purebred dog to grace me with his presence -- his registered name was Faulkner of Sound and Fury), Kesey, Thoreau, Emma, and now Harper Lee, Scout, and Franklin. Dogs and cats deserve names befitting their status in the world, which is much higher than that of a human being.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see you have surrounded yourself with furry author!!

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  6. I often named cats after friends. No offense ever verbalized. But one cat was albino and I named her Phoebe Snow. I loved it because the real Phoebe Snow was an African American singer who named herself after the Pennsylvania coal mining freight line, The Line of the Phoebe Snow. A lot of weight for a little cat to carry around.

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    Replies
    1. I bet your friends loved it. If he gets a goldfish, JOEH is going to name it after me!!

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  7. Thanks to you my next dog will be names Hieronymus Bark. Ha!

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    Replies
    1. A perfect name for an artist's dog!!

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  8. I'm not clever enough to come up with a cool name for my dog. I'll just have to stick with plain 'ol "Phydeaux". *sigh*

    S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phydeaux is a phine name phor a phurry phriend!!

      Delete
  9. OMG. I need to teach my dog to play the piano too, I don't think the cat is interested. ...LOved the dog and cats names, as many as I have had, I've never been very original with them, but my lowest point was I named the stray I found 'Girl Dog"...Oh yes, originality is not in my blood..:)

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    Replies
    1. It would have been original if it had been a male!!

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  10. I need to read this, but right now, I am just going to say that I can't see a post for Wednesday. I imagine that was the day you asked me about? I will be back to read this, I'm fixing my bookcases right now, so I have oily hands. Happy Mother's Day tomorrow, dear Fishducky!

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.