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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

MEMORABLE MUSINGS OF MAXINE


I’ve only met 3 people named Maxine in my life.  One was a neighbor—a very nice lady.  The other 2 are my brother’s ex-wives.  (Yes—he was married twice—both times to ladies named Maxine.)  I will not comment on them.


Then there’s the “Maxine” of the cartoons—A very wise woman.  Below  are some excerpts from “Maxine’s Rules of Life”:


1. Never give anyone a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

4. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

7. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

8. And finally; be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.



She’s a Maxine we all can love.  She says what we feel!  She has an opinion on just about anything.  Here are some of them:

 On health, health care & aging 
 

 

On memory

On men
    

On cooking

On frustration

   

On a social life

On nature

On working

How she sees life


LET'S HEAR IT FOR MAXINE!!

Did you know there's a male version of Maxine?










I want to be just like Maxine when if I grow up----fishducky









25 comments:

  1. Hehe I Like Maxine (first time I've seen her cartoons btw) ... I've only known one Maxine ... she was a friend of my daughters and once ran away from home and ended up at our house ... I was happy that she felt safe with us but nontheless I was obliged to call her frantic parents and tell them where she was ...

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    1. Glad to have been able to introduce you!!

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  2. I've never personally known any Maxines. She is a stitch, especially when most of them are true for the reader.

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    1. Of my 3 live Maxine's & this one, THIS ONE is definitely the best!!

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  3. Love Maxine. She reminds me of my mother, only funny. I need a little time to warm up to mMrvin.

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    1. I've loved Maxine for a long time--Marvin's a newcomer!!

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  4. I am a big Maxine fan. I want to be her when I grow up. :)
    tm

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  5. I've never known a Maxine until I met you and this Maxine. She is very spot on!

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  6. She is one funny lady, the bloke is amusing.
    Merle.................

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  7. I think we had a neighbor named Maxine when I was very young, during the Dark Ages. I don't remember for sure so I guess she didn't make as much of an impression on me as the Maxine of cartoon fame does.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I wonder if she was my sister-in-law!!

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    2. The odds are higher than usual since you had two Maxines.

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  8. My mother once begged my Dad to FINALLY give my brother a haircut when he was five. He managed to cut his ear with BUZZERS! Clearly, my mom had no idea he was on his 3rd beer. :)

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    1. Listen to Maxine, Grasshopper--she is wise!!

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  9. Cade has an aunt Maxine. She is so awesome that I swear she inspired the cartoons/comics. You'd love her :)

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  10. I imagine your brother isn't the biggest fan of the name Maxine then!

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  11. I agree with #3 while my husband will agree with # 5 LOL

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.