Q. What do you call a musician who doesn’t have a girlfriend?
Q. Why do mermaids wear seashells?
A. The a & b shells didn’t fit.
Q. How many stoners does it take to watch a campfire go out?
A. All of them.
When our boys were young, they were in the Cub Scouts. Bud was the Pack Leader & I was the head Den Mother. I was constantly going to scout headquarters to pick up badges & other supplies. Headquarters was staffed by volunteers, one of whom was a very sweet older lady named Shirley. You know how fast Speedy Gonzales moves? Shirley didn’t! I tried never to go there when I was in a hurry, but one day I couldn’t help it. I was pleased to see both a man named Irv & Shirley seated behind the counter. Irv greeted me & was about to ask what I wanted when Shirley smiled, got up & started walking towards me saying, “II’lllll heellllp youuuuu, Mrrrrs. F------------r!” (She talked as quickly as she moved!) I didn’t want to insult her so there was nothing I could do. This has since become a saying in my family. I’m sure you must have met some of her relatives—they seem to be everywhere!
This story has been going around—I have no ideas if it’s true or not: