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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

HELP!! I'VE FALLEN & I CAN'T GET UP!!


Last month, a leg broke off of a kitchen chair & it fell out from under me.  I landed just like the woman above.  The good news is I didn't break my crown, but I did get some hairline fractures in my back & butt.  It only hurt when I was sitting, standing or laying down--pretty much all the time.  The really good news is I'm better now!!  It's a good thing I didn't need a sling.  It must be hard to walk when your butt's in one!!  I had some x-rays taken so if anyone is interested in buying an 8x10 glossy, please let me know.  

Here's a funny post by Man Martin about his sling:

I dislocated my shoulder last week, and now have to wear my arm in a sling. This means everywhere I go, I'm called upon to explain what happened.  I bet on Friday alone I had to tell two hundred people about my arm.  Of course, a hundred fifty of them were my students, so that brings the average up a bit.  I don't blame people for asking, naturally, and I'm pleased with their concern; still, it gets tiresome.  I think when the hospital gave me the sling, they should also have given me a sign: "Dislocated Shoulder."

The worst part is, they always want to know how I dislocated it.  There are many interesting and worthwhile reasons to have a dislocated shoulder:

Ultimate Cage Fighting
Bitch-Slapping Kodiak Bear
Meteorite 

The way it really happened was this: walking up some steps

This is my modus operandi when it comes to getting injured.  Why can't I get hurt doing something exciting?  Why is it always something ordinary?  Say, walking?  Admittedly, Ultimate Cage fighting is not something I do a lot of, but surely I have as much right to get hit by a meteorite as anyone else.  Getting hit by a meteorite makes you seem glamorous and remarkable: tripping on steps just makes you a klutz.

So now if you see me in a sling, you'll know why.  And if someone else asks you what happened to me, tell them it was a meteorite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't think of anything else funny to say about my butt, so here are some cartoons about falling & generally just being old and/or accident prone:















PS--Are you a follower of Darcy at http://www.sothenstories.com?  If not, you're missing some very funny & clever stuff.  Go take a look!!

PPS--We (my husband, our son & I) saw a really funny movie about old people yesterday.  It's "Last Vegas", with Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman & Kevin Kline.  Lots of laughs!!  I recommend it.




When you get older, you hear the question, "Who's hip?" as "Whose hip?"----fishducky

 




  





16 comments:

  1. From Melynda: A; You didn't tell me you hurt yourself, you naughty woman!!!
    B" I think a fall from a parachute would be a great way to hurt myself. However, that is never the case.. I run into walls or trip on a cat's tail or go to sit on the toilet and miss it compeltly.
    Yes that is my life. Sigh

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  2. I'm glad you liked Last Vegas because Mrs. C. wants to see it. Based on your recommendation I'll show more enthusiasm. Have a great day.

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  3. You are amazing. You are hurting and making us laugh. GOD BLESS YOU. Better still God heal you faster!

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    Replies
    1. The x-rays showed NO damage to my sense of humor!!

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  4. Willy Dunne Wooters and I have seen the ads for Last Vegas and wondered if it's an old folks version of The Hangover movies. If you liked it, then I just might put it in my queue, which stands at 300+. Many moons ago, Favorite Young Man was sitting in the kitchen peeling potatoes for a family dinner. Suddenly he moved and said, Ouch! I stubbed my toe! I've never figured out how he stubbed his toe while seated. He often fell up the stairs, too.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. It IS (sort of) a better done old folks version of The Hangover movies, but I loved Hangover 1. Favorite Young Man should beware of killer chairs!!

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  5. So sorry about your back and butt. And v glad they are on the mend.
    I loved the meteorite explanation. The first time my partner's lung collapsed, he told everyone at work I had stabbed him. A meteorite would have been a MUCH better story (and might have protected me from some flack). Except that he probably would have said I threw it at him.

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  6. So sorry your behind and back are sore but glad your humor is intact. I love the idea of glamorizing an accident. A meteorite could be used for a variety of injuries. Note has been taken.

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  7. I'm glad to say they're no longer sore. I'm planning on using that excuse, too!!

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  8. Replies
    1. I'll confess it took me a minute to figure out that one!!

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  9. hahaa…. anything else funny to say about my butt… hahaaa well? those cartoons do a fine job… I tumped over in a canoe on a Class IV river run and me and my tailbone rode it out for a bunch of miles … so 'they' told me… I just know I hurt like hell… took a year for that ol bone to settle down …

    Glad you're okay !

    the walker lady blowing out the birthday candles… terrible… just awful… Hahaa

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.