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Friday, November 8, 2013

RAMBLIN' RECALLS REDUX

(It was Erin Moran)

I can remember some things!  For instance:

A couple of true stories:

When I was a kid, I was sure my dad knew everything.  When we were in, say, a large auditorium, I would ask him what the huge chandelier above us weighed. He'd think a minute, turn to me & say, "1,387 pounds."  I believed him, not realizing he had pulled the answer directly from his butt.  I used the same source (my butt, not his) later when answering my own children because it at least momentarily stopped the questioning.  As far as I know, my children gave this same sort of information to my grandchildren.  I assume this system will carry on through the ages.
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There was a judge in the Los Angeles Superior Court who was quite elderly, but his mind was still sharp as a tack.  He was only about 5' tall & his vision was failing.  When he leaned over at his high desk, practically putting his nose on a paper in order to read it, he couldn't be seen by anyone in the courtroom.  One day, he was quietly studying some papers when an attorney looked up at the bench &, of course, couldn't see the judge. He asked, loudly, "Where did that son of a bitch go?"  The judge sat upright, smiled, waved at the attorney & said, "Here I am!!"  I don't think the attorney was sanctioned--everybody in the court, including the judge, had a good laugh!!
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And a couple of jokes:

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he recently went to with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men asked, "What’s it called?" After thinking for a few seconds Harry said, “What are those good smelling flowers called again?”  “Do you mean a rose?" the first man questioned. “Yes, that’s it!” he exclaimed.  Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other night?”
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One of the funniest memories I have of the trials and tribulations of making the journey from childhood to adulthood was our annual summer vacation trek from Chicago to a cabin usually someplace on a lake in Wisconsin or Michigan. Every year, it seems, we would get on a highway a few miles out of the city, and mom would wail, “Oh my goodness! I think left the iron on.” And almost every year we would turn around and go back. But as I recall, not once was it was ever plugged in. She often had the same fear that all our earthly possessions would disappear in a fire caused by her forgetfulness. When I was about 14 years old, we were headed out of Chicago for Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and, sure enough, Mom gasped, “I just know I left the iron on.”
My father didn’t say a word, just pulled over onto the shoulder of the road, got out, opened the trunk and handed her the iron.                                                                       5jokesaday.com

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Lots of cartoons today:









I had a really clever closing comment for today.  I wish I could remember what it was!!----fishducky

 



    

34 comments:

  1. Ha Ha, I used the same method of answering my kids questions, right up until they started questioning my answers, they'd say "are you sure?" and I'd say, "well maybe I've got it mixed up with..." but that only worked for a few months. I love all the cartoons, I'm going to make a bookmark from the incorrect password one for a friend of mine who always forgets hers.

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    1. Feel free to use whatever you find in my posts--it's entirely possible I stole it from somewhere else!!

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  2. Love that story about your dad handing your mom the iron. So funny! Happy Weekend.

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    1. It wasn't my dad, but it's something he WOULD have done!!

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  3. OK the estrogen step-crank has called from work three times asking Mrs. C to go to the house (her x's house) because she is sure she left her curling iron on. It is always unplugged...Mrs. C is still laughing over the iron story!

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    1. Say "Hi" to Mrs. C for me!! She knows I love her, right?

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  4. Lots of fun stuff. I especially like the story about the iron. Not too many people would be as patient as that man was.

    I have a somewhat selective memory, too. My brain is filled with nerdy facts and insignificant trivia, but lord, don't anybody ask me where the hell the deed to our cemetery plot is. (I know. That's awful. I'm hoping the good lord takes me first.)

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    1. I, myself, have always been a storehouse of useless information--I'm great at Trivial Pursuits. I hope the Lord doesn't need you for a LONG time!!

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    2. I'm really good at Trivial Pursuits, too. I wish we could play. My find is filled with useless information. That's why I can't remember the important stuff.

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    3. We can't be expected to remember everything!!

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  5. My dad was the same type. He was uber smart so often he really knew the answers. When he didn't, he said that giving a strong, confident answer was all people needed to hear to believe him. I never could tell when he was bluffing.
    Loved the iron.

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    1. I'm sure I would have believed him, too!!

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  6. Well, I thought it was Thursday today...
    Could you remove me from your email mailing list temporarily, please. My aol has a bug and I cannot answer emails. Since I'm so fed up with aol anyway, I'm planning to switch to g-mail. Google is not doing well today from what I understand, but so maybe I will wait a few days to open an account. Your post came up missing, but it appeared after I clicked on HOME. Maybe, I'm not such a dumb Swede, after all.

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    1. Let me know as soon as possible when you want to resume your "duckiness"!!

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  7. Insufficient available memory to meet the expected demands of an operation at this time, possibly due to virtual address space fragmentation. Still..thanks for the laugh.

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  8. Sorry, your response does not compute, however, you are welcome!!

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  9. I still use that method to answer questions or disseminate information. All that crap about grammar? I make it up.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. You're only allowed to do that because you're the queen!!

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  10. Love it. And our questions were also extracted from a place that the sun doesn't shine. It seems that it is one of the rules in the parenting manual.

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    1. It seems like that area is where the main branch of the parents reference section is located!!

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  11. Why does Blogger say this post doesn't exist? It's better than my posts that do exist!

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    1. Blogger & I have been having some issues lately--maybe it's exacting revenge!!

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  12. HAhaaaaa your Dad …! my Mother was the same way … left a burner on… drove us all insane

    I've changed my profile picture on Facebook … to a four panel thingy with stick people with their arms up in a protest manner…

    First panel… What do we want?
    Second panel … Better Memory…
    Third panel …. When do we want it?
    Fourth panel … Want what?

    fn cartoons … love the last one ...

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    1. Your new profile sounds great!! What last cartoon?

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    2. HAHAAaaaaa ... the fish! The tragedy of a three second memory! thatsa meeeee

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    3. I knew what you meant--that was a feeble attempt at humor!!

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    4. ah see...;)

      I'm about to call it a night ... it's almost 1:30 am and last week it was 2:30am and old minds don't keep up with genius stuff this time of day ... good grief... can't believe it's .. well? I sure don't have an alarm clock to worry about ... love that!

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  13. I think I could use a new memory stick too :)

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  14. I...I can't remember what I was going to say.

    And the iron... AWESOME!

    As for your last post, "Am I There?".... I'm going with not. :( The only post I can access is this one.

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    1. Wasn't that a great story? After I discovered that Google had run my post (4 hours late) I deleted that one!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.