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Monday, November 11, 2013

THERE GOES FISHDUCKY'S MIND--AGAIN!!


A puzzle for you:

Ready for some babbling random thoughts?  Fasten your seatbelts--here we go:

Some professional golfer--I think it was Sam Snead--once had an interesting dream.  This is how I remember it:

He was playing in a major tournament.  He tees off on the first hole, a short par 3.  The ball drops in for a hole in one!  He thinks, "What a great start!"  The 2nd hole is longer--a par 5.  He hits a powerful drive, which goes a little to the left.  It bounces off a tree & lands on the green, where it rolls into the cup.  He can't believe his luck.  Holes 3 through 17, all are somehow holes in one!  He tees up on 18, confident that he's about to get a score of 18 for the round.  He swings, hits & the ball heads straight for the flag.  It drops on the green & rolls toward the hole--& stops, 1 inch short.  He's going to get a never-before-made score of 19 for the day, but he had the same reaction as any golfer would have to that shot.  He said, "Oh, shit!"
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I love sunsets & waterfalls.  Several years ago (but not for our honeymoon, for that we went to Las Vegas) we visited Niagara Falls.  Magnificent!!  When you are standing at the kitchen sink in our house, you are facing due west.  When the kids were young, there was a vacant lot behind us affording an unobstructed view of the sunset.  They were too small to see out the window so while I was making dinner I would lift each one so they could see all the beautiful colors in the sky.  They all became sunset lovers, too.  When Matt moved to Connecticut, he said it took him quite a while to get used to the sun rising from, & not sinking into, the ocean.
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Our grandson, Brian, who is 16,  was here this summer for a couple of days.  He & I were in my Mustang (of course, I drive a Mustang!) ready to go out to breakfast.  I asked him if he minded me having a cigarette in the car & he told me that would be OK, so I lit up.  I had another one on the way home.  I later discovered that in CA & several other states it is illegal to smoke in a car if you are carrying minors.  I had no idea that there was such a law, did you?  No, I was not stopped by the police, but I was surprised!!
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I have diabetes, so my son sent me an ad for this medical alert necklace he thought I might like:

Product Details


Duck Medical Alert
SKU: DP1319
Your Price:
$32.99
Quantity:
Back Engraving:
 

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Some random jokes:

An announcement is made at a college assembly:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, & the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?" 
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"
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A young woman tells her friend, “Paul keeps telling everyone he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“What a shame! And after all the time you’ve been engaged!”
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A man sat down & was seriously staring at his marriage certificate & after a long time his wife asked, "What are you looking for?"  He replied, "The expiration date!"
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.  Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.  Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.  Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.  Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.  What does it tell you?" 

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

"Watson, you must be getting old—it tells me that somebody has stolen our tent!"
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How about some new definitions?












Honor our veterans!!


That girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore----fishducky

 



  

18 comments:

  1. Love the crossword idea, although I didn't get all the answers. I got moo, married, Friday, funny, elephant, laugh and lie. Then I decided I'd better draw the grid...the rest of the jokes are funny, poor Watson though, not realising the tent was gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know why he didn't realize it--it was elementary!!

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  2. Willy Dunne Wooters has a 'stang, too. All the cool kids do. The Holmes and Watson joke made me laugh out loud.

    Love,
    Janie

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  3. Got a chuckle about watching the sun do its magic.. I remember when in Florida how romantic I thought it was when a fellow I had just started dating asked me to come with him to watch the sunrise. We sat on a blanket on the beach in the dark with coffee, donuts and each other to keep us amused till the run rose. However, to our dismay, it just got daylight. We were in Sarasota at the time, on the west coast of the state. Duh.

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    Replies
    1. My son lives in Connecticut & he says it took him a long time to get used to the sun rising from the ocean instead of sinking into it, as it does here in L.A.

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  4. I laughed really hard at the Sherlock Holmes joke. Thanks.

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  5. I like waterfalls and sunsets and rises too .... sweet story ... lifting them to see the sun set.

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  6. I love the ducky medic alert bracelet, it will suit you perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's cute, but fortunately I don't need it!!

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  7. All this fun stuff (which I enjoyed) and the thing that sticks out in my mind is... you drive a Mustang! How cool is that? We've mostly been Chevy owners over the years, but I LOVE the '65 Mustang. Our older son had a 2000-something Mustang for a while, but the more kids he and his wife had, the less practical it became.

    I got a kick out of the college kid asking about a season pass to the girls' dorm. Times sure have changed. When our kids were in college, their dorms were co-ed. When I was in college, it was strictly one-sex only, and it was necessary to yell, "Man on the hall!" if a male visited our dorm. (strictly during daylight hours) Now, I reckon boys and girls are allowed to be roommates...

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    Replies
    1. My Mustang history:

      My first Mustang, which I think was a ’69, was the first car I had which my husband hadn’t driven for years prior to my driving it. It was also the first car I had which (deliberately) could not hold a troop of Boy or Girl Scouts. The government had a ban on manufacturing convertibles at that time because of safety concerns. There were, however, no laws about making your own convertibles. We had the car decapitated & a convertible top put on! Once I was driving about 4:00am on a virtually deserted freeway when I glanced at my speedometer. I was going 105! I reluctantly slowed down.

      A later one was stolen off the lot when I brought it in for servicing. The police recovered the peel--they had stripped it bare. You could open the hood & see the driveshaft.

      I now drive a 2010 model. I've had other cars, including a BMW & an Edsel!!

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  8. That duck is priceless!!! Now wait, it's $32

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be accurate, $32.99 plus shipping & Handling!!

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  9. I got most of the answers right. I thought that you blogged mostly on Mondays.
    I love the Duck Medic Alert.
    Thanks for the Wiley's Dictionary.

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    Replies
    1. I post Monday, Wednesday & Friday.
      So do I.
      You're welcome!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.