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Monday, January 7, 2013

WILE E. COYOTE—I MEAN, ALISON, SUPER GENIUS!


My friend & I had our first children about the same time.  Alison is 10 days older than our daughter.  Our daughter was born at 4:10am.  My husband stopped at their house on his way home from the hospital.  He knew they’d be awake.

Our daughter (who as you know, shall be nameless) was a very early talker & very smart, but not a very early walker.  Alison could run circles around her, (almost) literally.  I could almost see Nameless’ brain working as she sat there looking at Alison & thinking: “So that’s how she does it.  One foot, then the other foot.  My goodness, look at how fast she goes!  I bet I could do that!”  When she had it all figured out, to prove her theory, she got up & walked!

Alison used to hum while eating in her high chair.  If the food was so-so, like oatmeal, it was a soft, gentle hum.  Fruit, which she loved, was cause for a symphony, with trumpets & cymbals going full blast!

We used to trade off babysitting each other’s kids once a week.  They were both being toilet trained.  I had set Alison down on the toilet & left the room to get something when I heard her scream.  I rushed back in & saw her head, arms & lower legs sticking out of the toilet.  Her torso—including her little butt—had disappeared!  I asked her what in the world had happened & she yelled, “I FELL IN!!”


Not this far...

...more like this!

And while we're on the subject of potty training:



 I was sick, so Bud took her & our daughter, both about 3 years old, to a birthday party for my niece, about 40 miles away.  Alison’s mom had neglected to tell my husband that her daughter occasionally got carsick.  This was such an occasion.  She upchucked on her dress so Bud stopped at a shopping mall & bought her a new one.  He took her into the restroom, hosed her down, changed her clothes & went on to the party.  When he brought her home, her mom wondered why she was wearing a different dress than the one she left in.  I was very proud of my husband.  When one of our kids in our home barfed while I was out, he would close the door to that room & when I got home, he’d point & say, “In there.”  Then again, I guess he didn’t have this option in his car.

Alison grew into quite an athlete.  She was a ranked tennis player in her teens.  The first time she ever played golf, she went with her father.  On the third or fourth hole she made a hole in one.  She told him she didn’t like golf much—it was TOO easy!

On a completely different subject (of course): My two much loved daughters–in-law are not, one would say, fanatical about having a clean house.  Other things are more important to them, as they should be.  When one daughter-in-law was about to have her second baby, I flew out to Connecticut to help her.  I was in their home with Matt & their first child while Linda was out shopping.  I looked around & said to my son, “I’m glad that Linda is comfortable with me.  Some daughters-in-law go crazy cleaning the house when their mother-in-law is coming.  I’m happy she didn’t do that.”  Matt laughed & said, “She DID!”  I gave her a sign that still hangs in her kitchen after many years.  It reads, “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.”  My other daughter-in-law’s sign (also from me) says, “Housework makes you ugly.”  My daughter’s house is, of course, always clean (even though she’s pretty).  A conundrum.  We are not alike at all.  Her sign is below.   I gave her the sign to aggravate her—& it worked!


Your fine feathered friend----fishducky