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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME…




Before you start, I have a question:

ARE YOU ALBE TO RAED TIHS?

Secinsitts hvae decoviserd taht smoe of us are albe to raed Eignlsh eevn wehn the ltreets are in the worng odrer as lnog as the frsit & lsat ltteers are in the rhgit pcale.  It is eiesar for wmeon tahn men.  If you ARE albe to raed tihs pagraparh, you suhold hvae no tublore wtih the rset of tihs psot.  True, the post may be confusing, but the letters are in the right order!  * (If you need it, there’s a translation at the end of the post.) 

 My husband just emailed me this one:

You've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is probably the first time you've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17.
B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R34D 7H15.

NOW WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME...
…What is the speed of dark?

…When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

…Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

…How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

…If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

…How can there be self-help groups?

…If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

…When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

…How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

…Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

…When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

…If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

…If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

…Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

…Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

…How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

…If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

…What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

…Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

…Why do they report power outages on TV?  

...Why is it that bullets ricochet off Superman's chest, but he ducks when the empty gun is thrown at him?

...When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpeting?

...After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there isn't enough money in the account to pay the fee?

...Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

...Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

...Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat has materialized?

...Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then drop it to give the vacuum one more chance?

...Why do people point to their wrists when asking for the time, but not to their behinds when they ask where the bathroom is?

...If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

...If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

...Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

...Why, when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

...Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

---Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?


---At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his behind?

---If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

---Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they go to work?

---If you could really dig a hole to China, & you did & fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?

---If a queen gave birth to conjoined sons, who would get to be king?

And the most perplexing question of all:

...Why are you reading this post in the first place? 


These cartoons have nothing to do with this post.  
THEY"RE JUST FUNNY!!















My species is just naturally curious----fishducky


*Scientists have discovered that some of us are able to read English even when the letters are in the wrong order as long as the first & last letters are in the right place.  It is easier for women than men.  If you ARE able to read this paragraph, you should have no trouble with the rest of this post.

And the other one:

THIS MESSAGE SERVES TO PROVE HOW OUR MINDS CAN
DO AMAZING THINGS! IMPRESSIVE THINGS! IN THE BEGINNING
IT WAS HARD BUT NOW, ON THIS LINE YOUR MIND IS READING IT
AUTOMATICALLY WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.
                           BE PROUD! ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE CAN READ THIS.