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Friday, March 22, 2013

ROBIN HOOD--THE TRUE STORY


Robin Hood was an excellent archer and a really nice guy.  He lived in Sherwood Forest because he didn't get along with King (pro tem) John, who was ruling England while his brother, King Richard the Lionhearted (another nice guy) was out of town on the Crusades.  (Ed. note:  It wasn't really Sherwood Forest, it was Sherwood's forest.  It was the large, untended and therefore very messy and overgrown backyard of Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of "The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island".)

Robin had many dear and close friends.  There was Littlejohn, whom Robin, being British, called Littleloo.   (Ed. Note: Robin thought that was funny.  No one else did.)    There also were Alana Dale, whose brother, Alan, was fighting in the Crusades with King Richard, and Frier Tuck, who dropped out of the seminary to open a chicken restaurant.  They were part of his group of "Merry Men", made that way mainly because of Robin's maid, Marian, a believer in free love.  She loved him deeply and kept things as neat as possible in Sherwood's forest.

He, however, was not without enemies, one of the worst being an ally of King (pro tem) John, the new Sheriff of Nottingham, Joe Arpaio.  Sheriff Joe Arpaio was a cruel man, who took delight in persecuting Robin.  Robin vowed never to be captured by the Sheriff, because he was allergic to bologna--and working in chain gangs.

Many of the people living nearby were very poor because King (pro tem) John had set up a vile organization called the IRS (I Require Sums) to fill his coffers.  To combat this injustice, Robin set up trust accounts for the poor where their small sums of money could be safely deposited with him collecting a mere 50% for administrative fees.  He even installed an ATM (Arrows Take Money) in Sherwood's forest to make it even easier for those who were rich to make their deposits.

This continued for several years until King Richard returned to England and kicked his nasty brother off the throne.  Robin Hood started the Bank of England and put everything he had in the name of his new wife--his former maid, Marian.  Everyone except King (pro tem) John lived happily ever after.




That fine feathered story teller----fishducky