It's (the week of) opening day!! In case there is anyone out there who doesn't know who's playing this season, I'll let Abbott & Costello tell you:
Yogi Berra, who was with the New York Yankees for about 20 years, must have been a genius. He apparently invented his own language, which seems to be some sort of English. Here are some examples:
"This
is like deja vu all over again."
"You can observe a lot just by
watching."
"He must have made that before he
died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
"I want to thank you for making this day
necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in
1947.
"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if
he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he
found a million dollars.
"You've got to be very careful if you don't
know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"I knew I was going to take the wrong
train, so I left early."
"If you don't know where you are going, you
will wind up somewhere else."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces
because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half
is physical."
"It was impossible to get a conversation
going; everybody was talking too much."
"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't
hitting."
"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too
crowded."—Referring to a restaurant.
"It gets late early out there."
-- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
"Do you mean now?" -- When
asked for the time.
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to
four."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take
it."—When asked for directions to
his home.
"You give 100 percent in the first half of
the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's
left."
"90% of the putts that are short don't go
in."
"Texas has a lot of electrical votes."
-- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was
important to the election.
"Thanks, you don't look so hot
yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
"I always thought that record would stand
until it was broken."
"Yeah, but we're making great time!"
-- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
"If the fans don't come out to the ball
park, you can't stop them."
"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when
you travel."
"The other teams could make trouble for us
if they win."
“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
"You should always go to other people's
funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"I didn't really say everything I
said."
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My book is sort of like this:
Beauty and the Beast
Wrinkles: something other people have. I have character lines----fishducky
