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Friday, May 10, 2013

THE PET AND THE PENDULUM













I think there are entirely too many "Fido's" & "Fluffy's"  out there.  I'm not objecting to the number of dogs & cats--just their names.  We say they're just like members of our families & we wouldn't name our baby "Baby", so why don't we put more time & effort into choosing our pet's names?  There are hundreds of names, which, with minor adjustments, would work beautifully.

If your pet shows artistic talent, may I suggest Picatso, Salvador Doggy or Hieronymus Barks?

An animal that insists on having its own way could be Cattitude or Dogmatic.

One that displays a literary bent  might like to be Edgar Allan Poodle, Oedipus Rex, Winnie the Pooper or even Dog Quixote.

If he loves curling up with you & watching Netflix movies, some good choices might be Ben Purr, Edward Scissorclaws, Hairy Potter, Farticus (This name is usually reserved for older rescue dogs), The Purrminator, or Dogzilla.

A kitty who resembles a statue by sitting absolutely still would obviously be Catatonic.

A hearty eater could be Corndog, Catbury Chocolate (for brown cats only), Frank Furter (for wiener dogs/dachshunds only) or Chicken Poodle Soup.

If your pet doesn't like to stay at home, how about Africat, Catmandu, Genghis Khat or Barko Polo?

A dog who is interested in redesigning your yard should be Tommy Holedigger.

It might be possible for your dog to get on TV if he were named Anderson Pooper.

For a pet with the stuff that legends are made of, there's Purrsephone or Sir Prancelot.

He might bring in a few extra dollars if he were a Telebarketer.

If you think he's cat or dog enough to run the country, have you considered Chairman Meow or Bark Obama?

I just heard there is a REAL field champion labrador retriever named Debbie Does Ducks.

If none of these names appeal to you, you could name your furry family member At Random (so you could tell people you just named him At Random), Dammit (so you could say, "Come, Dammit" or "Sit, Dammit") or Peeve (so you could introduce him by saying, "This is my pet, Peeve.")

Some appropriate quotes:

"One reason a pet can be such a comfort to you when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why."
--Source unknown

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
--Rita Rudner

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at absolutely nothing right in your ear."
--Dave Barry










Imagine that you are a singer & that you accompany yourself on the piano. 
You have a small dog who is your constant companion.  
He always sits & watches as you rehearse. 
Now imagine that you must be away for a couple of hours.  
You leave the dog alone at home.  
You can't imagine what causes the neighbors to complain while you're gone,
 so you set up a nanny-cam.
(The owner was not at home when this was recorded.)
Thank you, Dee--I love this!!

                                        

Sometimes dogs & cats have to work together.
This is called, "How to get your cat inside".

Check out Elisa's Random Acts of Kindness 
Blogfest HERE


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you can click  HERE to buy it on Amazon
or HERE on Goodreads.





I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.


PS--Just got this email--in case you're up to reading some more:

Dogs come when you call them.  Cats take a message & get back to you when they're good & ready.

Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire.  Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.  

Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.  Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon.  Cats will take a 3 hour nap.

Dogs will sit on the seat next to you in your car.  Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

Dogs will greet you & lick your face when you come home from work.  Cats will be angry that you went to work at all.

Dogs will sit, lie down & heel on command.  Cats will smirk & walk away.

Dogs will tilt their heads & listen whenever you talk.  Cats will yawn & close their eyes.

Dogs will give you unconditional love forever.  Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.