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Friday, May 17, 2013

ALOHA! TAKE THAT QUARTER OUT OF YOUR EAR--YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!



That may sound like a strange thing to say (even on my posts) but it is illegal to put coins in your ear in Hawaii!  Most--probably all--of our 50 states have some very strange laws on their books.  I assume they're not enforced, but nevertheless, they ARE the law!  I've listed some of them below.  If you don't find your state on this list, don't get too cocky. Some laws are the same in two or more states & besides, I had to cut the list WAY DOWN--there's an awful lot of stupidity out there!!

THESE ARE ALL ACTUAL LAWS!

Alabama--Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.  It is illegal to drive a car while blindfolded.
Alaska--It is unlawful to give alcoholic beverages to a moose.
Arizona--You may not have more than two dildos in one house.
California--Women may not drive a car in a housecoat.  No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.  No riding a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Colorado--Catapults may not be fired at buildings.  It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your neighbor.
Connecticut--It is illegal to walk backwards after sunset.  You are not allowed to cross the street while walking on your hands.  Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
Florida--If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.  Having sexual relations with a porcupine is unlawful.  It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.
Hawaii--It is illegal to put coins in your ears.
Illinois--The English language is not to be spoken.  One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Indiana--The value of Pi is 3.  Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
Iowa--A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
Kansas--If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
Kentucky--A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.  No one is considered drunk until they can no longer hold onto the ground. 
Maine--You may not step out of a plane in flight.  It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts.
Maryland--It's unlawful to take a lion to the movies.
Massachusetts--Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed & securely locked.  No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.  It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
Minnesota--It is illegal to sleep naked.  No one may cross state lines with a duck on top of his head.
Mississippi--It is forbidden to teach others what polygamy is.
Missouri--It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.  It is unlawful to drive down the highway with an uncaged bear in your car.
Nebraska--Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.  One may not wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.  
Nevada--Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
New Jersey--It is against the law for you to slurp your soup.
New Mexico--It is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
New York--A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
North Carolina--It's against the law to sing off key.  Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
North Dakota--It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio--If one loses his pet tiger, he must notify the authorities within one hour.
Oklahoma--Taking a bite out of another's hamburger is illegal.
Oregon--One may not bathe without wearing suitable clothing.
Pennsylvania--It is unlawful to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.  You may not sing in the bathtub.
Rhode Island--No one may bite off another's leg.
South Dakota--No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
Tennessee--It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.  Driving is not to be done while asleep.  A woman is not allowed to drive a car down the road without a man walking in front of her and carrying a red flag to warn other drivers. 
Texas--An anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims notice, oral or written, 24 hours in advance of the crime they are planning to commit and the nature of that crime. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Utah--It is illegal not to drink milk.  Women may not swear.
Vermont--Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
Virginia--Not only is it against the law to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.
West Virginia--All lollipops are banned.  It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.  It is unlawful to eat candy an hour and a half before church service begins. It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
Wisconsin--It is illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
Wyoming--You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Kellie, at Delightfully Ludricrous, talks about an anti-voodoo law.  It's called "I've heard about the power of the mind..." & was posted November 5, 2012.  You can read it HERE.

I couldn't possibly make up anything funnier than these laws, so that's all I have for today except these cartoons:






If you haven't gotten my book yet, don't worry--
you can click  HERE to buy it on Amazon
or HERE on Goodreads.

My book is sort of like this:




I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me----fishducky