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Monday, May 20, 2013

YOU THINK THE FORD WAS NAMED AFTER HENRY FORD? THINK AGAIN!



Gather around me, children, & I'll tell you how car companies REALLY got their names.  A bunch of automobile engineers & executives were trying to come up with names for their prospective companies.  They kept throwing ideas around & finally decided to go with acronyms, based on the quality of their products.  Here are some of them:

ACURA
Another Crummy Useless Rotten Automobile

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Don't OverDo Going Electric

FERRARI
Fragile, Expensive Rides Repel All Reasonable Individuals

FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony

FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Recall Day
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

HONDA
Hope One Never Dies, Anyway
Had One--Never Did Again

HUMMER
Huge Ugly Mean Mashing Eyesore, Right?
Huge, Usually Male Member Enlargement Replacement

ISUZU
I Sympathize, Unstable Zealots Unite

JEEP
Just Enough Engine Power
Just Expect Excessive Problems

KIA
Kick It Again

LAMBORGHINI
Letting Americans Make Big Overdeveloped Riches Go Hastily Into Nonstop Irrelevance

LAND ROVER
Loud, Agonizing Noisy Drive--Rattles On Virtually Every Road

LINCOLN
Leading In Non-Competent Old Ladies Navigating

LOTUS
Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious

MAZDA
Made After Zero Design Analysis

MITSUBISHI
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Indefinable.

NISSAN
Needs Imminent Salvage, So Abandon Now

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PONTIAC
People On Narcotics Think It's A Cadillac

PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em

SAAB
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
Still Ain't A Beamer

SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair, Usually
Showing Unresolved Bitterness Against Road Use

TOYOTA
They Overcharge You On Their Accessories
Taking Over Your Old Transportation, America!

TRIUMPH
This Really Is Unreliable, Man--Please Help!

VOLKSWAGEN
Vehicle Owner's List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum, Gum, Engine, Nails

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object


I'm sure you've seen trees on a truck:

but have you ever seen a truck in a tree?

Is your car more like this...

or this?

Got someone who drives you up the wall?
Watch this:






This is my idea of a great car:

This is a VERY funny phone call:

If you haven't gotten my book yet, don't worry--
you can click  HERE to buy it on Amazon
or HERE on Goodreads.

My book is sort of like this:
The lovely Inger of Desert Canyon Living is featuring my art work TOMORROW in her post.  I love her blog even when I'm not her subject!!  If you wait until tomorrow, you can check it out HERE.




I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.    He says he can stop anytime----fishducky