Did you ever wonder what some famous people would have said if they were being interviewed for a job? You didn't? Well, I did! Here's what I think they might have said:
Julius Caesar: "My last job involved a lot of office politics and back
stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that."
Jesse James "I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks."
Marie Antoinette: "I admit my management style has been criticized, but I like to think of myself as a people person."
Jesse James "I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks."
Marie Antoinette: "I admit my management style has been criticized, but I like to think of myself as a people person."
Joseph Guillotin: "I can give your company a head start on the
competition."
Hamlet: "My last position was eliminated in a hostile takeover. How much are you offering? After all, the pay's the thing!"
Hamlet: "My last position was eliminated in a hostile takeover. How much are you offering? After all, the pay's the thing!"
The Wizard of Oz: "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I can handle this interview all by myself."
Mario Andretti: "About that company car you're offering--does it matter if I can only turn left?"
Pandora: "I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things."
Genghis Khan: "My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized the population of several countries."
Pandora: "I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things."
Genghis Khan: "My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized the population of several countries."
Lady Godiva: "What do you mean, this isn't business casual?"
Macbeth: "Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?"
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: "Don't worry about me quitting after a few months. I always keep a job as long as I possibly can."
Cher: "I’m so glad you require uniforms. I never know what to wear."
Sally Field: "You're interviewing me!
You're really interviewing me!!"
Adolph Hitler: "I don’t mind working my up through the
ranks. I will OWN this company one day!"
Queen Elizabeth ll: "Is this an animal friendly office? I have a couple of corgis…"
Attila the Hun: "Hire me & I guarantee we’ll crush the
competition."
Albert Schweitzer: "I hope there’s not a lot of math involved. I'm really tired of math."
Henry David Thoreau: "Would it be okay to work from home? The reason I ask is there’s a really nice
pond near where I live…"
Sir Isaac Newton: "This
bump? It’s nothing. For some strange reason, apples seem to keep
falling on my head."
Dr. Henry Heimlich: "Is there something stuck in your
throat? Here, let me help you…"
Yogi Bear: "Do you mind
if we have lunch while we talk? I
brought a picnic basket with me."
Marcel Marceau: “--------"
Designer of the Titanic: "What could possibly go wrong if you hired me?"
Ogden Nash: "I want to work, I’m not a jerk. Give me lots of money & I’m sure I could
be funny."
Francis Scott Key: "I
just thought of a little jingle that your company might use. Let me sing it for you."
Michelangelo: "What do you mean, you don't understand what I said--do I have to paint you a picture?"
Michelangelo: "What do you mean, you don't understand what I said--do I have to paint you a picture?"
Hugh Hefner: "Your receptionist is really hot. Do you think she’d mind if I took her
picture?"
Samson: "OK, I’ll wear
a net or put it in a ponytail, but there’s no way I’m getting my hair cut for
this job!"
Elvis Presley: "My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?"
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Here's a story about a woman who desperately needs a job--& a business manager:
An elderly couple were discussing the dire strait of their financial situation.
Him: "You're gonna have to get a job!"
Her: "I should get a job? What could I do?"
Him: "You could be a whore."
Her: "I could be a whore?"
Him: "You could try."
Her: "I'll try."
The next evening she comes home, totally exhausted & looking like something the cat dragged in.
Him: 'So, how'd you do?"
Her: "Okay--I made $13.10."
Him: "$13.10! Who gave you the 10 cents?"
Her: "EVERYBODY gave me 10 cents!"
Elvis Presley: "My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a story about a woman who desperately needs a job--& a business manager:
An elderly couple were discussing the dire strait of their financial situation.
Him: "You're gonna have to get a job!"
Her: "I should get a job? What could I do?"
Him: "You could be a whore."
Her: "I could be a whore?"
Him: "You could try."
Her: "I'll try."
The next evening she comes home, totally exhausted & looking like something the cat dragged in.
Him: 'So, how'd you do?"
Her: "Okay--I made $13.10."
Him: "$13.10! Who gave you the 10 cents?"
Her: "EVERYBODY gave me 10 cents!"
Job interview at Ikea:
For those of you still in the 9 to 5 routine:
From my posts, you might think I'm slightly unbalanced,
but she definitely is not!!
If you haven't gotten my book yet, don't worry--
you can click HERE to buy it on Amazon
or HERE on Goodreads.
My book is sort of like this:
If you need some ideas, click HERE.
This video is not funny.
butt may give you some more ideas:
Employment application blanks always ask who is
to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A good doctor!"----fishducky
