I’ve
only met 3 people named Maxine in my life.
One was a neighbor—a very nice lady.
The other 2 are my brother’s ex-wives.
(Yes—he was married twice—both times to ladies named Maxine.) I will not comment on them.
Then there’s the “Maxine” of the cartoons—A very wise woman. Below are some excerpts from “Maxine’s Rules of Life”:
1. Never
give anyone a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.
2. You
need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use
the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
3.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
4. If
he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.
5. Never
pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If you
woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
7. Living
well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former
relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
8. And finally; be really nice to your friends and family. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
She’s
a Maxine we all can love. She says what
we feel! She has an opinion on just about anything. Here are some of them:
On memory
On men
On cooking
On frustration
On a social life
On nature
On working
How she sees life
LET'S HEAR IT FOR MAXINE!!
Did you know there's a male version of Maxine?
I want to be just like Maxine when if I grow up----fishducky
