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Friday, October 25, 2013

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!



I actually used to belong to this group, NOT because I believed the earth was flat, but because I wanted their newsletter.  It was so removed from normalcy/sanity as to be  
hilarious.  I eventually dropped my membership because I had no desire to give $5.00 or $10.00 a year (whatever it was) to an organization that had become extremely anti-Semitic.  I also used to subscribe to several of the "newspapers" that are at the check stand at the markets, including the Enquirer & the Wacky Weekly World News.  I actually had a reason for all this--let me explain:

When our kids were away at college, so were many of our nieces & nephews.  They were all over the U.S. &, for a while, our daughter Nameless & one of our nieces were in Italy.  In order to keep a family member up to date on what was happening to the rest of us, I acted as sort of a clearing house.  They would send me letters (this was WAY before email or cell phones) & I would put whatever information they gave me into a BIG letter.  I xeroxed it (remember that?) & put in stupid stories, jokes & my own thoughts & sent a copy to everyone every couple of weeks.  Now that I think of it, it was sort of an early version of this blog.  I mailed 15 or 20 copies.  My father-in-law lived about a half mile from us & we saw him often, but he insisted on his own copy, too, & so did my sister-in-law's father-in-law.  They thought they were funny & they didn't want to be left out.

Once we ran a contest for my readers.  Someone had given me a teddy bear, about 6" tall & made of mink.  We thought she should have a name so we offered a prize for the best name.  The prize was to be $500,000.00 or a cookie, at the discretion of the judges (me & Bud).  Nameless & her cousin were sharing an apartment in Italy & they came up with the winning name, "Theda Beara".  (Theda Bara was a sexy silent film star.) We went to Italy to deliver their prize.  It was a cookie, not the $500,000.00--we're generous, but we're not stupid!  I don't know if anyone still does it, but they used to make cookies the size of a pizza & decorate them.  We had them write "Congratulations!" on the cookie & they put it in a pizza-like box.  There was no problem getting it into the country, but their customs inspectors were curious as to why we were bringing a pizza (they thought!) into Italy.

Here's a sample of the letters & also of the cartoon section:
Answers to the riddles:
1.  A popecsicle
2.  Antipasto
3.  A pop tart

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I went to a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words----fishducky