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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

HELP!! I'VE FALLEN & I CAN'T GET UP!!


Last month, a leg broke off of a kitchen chair & it fell out from under me.  I landed just like the woman above.  The good news is I didn't break my crown, but I did get some hairline fractures in my back & butt.  It only hurt when I was sitting, standing or laying down--pretty much all the time.  The really good news is I'm better now!!  It's a good thing I didn't need a sling.  It must be hard to walk when your butt's in one!!  I had some x-rays taken so if anyone is interested in buying an 8x10 glossy, please let me know.  

Here's a funny post by Man Martin about his sling:

I dislocated my shoulder last week, and now have to wear my arm in a sling. This means everywhere I go, I'm called upon to explain what happened.  I bet on Friday alone I had to tell two hundred people about my arm.  Of course, a hundred fifty of them were my students, so that brings the average up a bit.  I don't blame people for asking, naturally, and I'm pleased with their concern; still, it gets tiresome.  I think when the hospital gave me the sling, they should also have given me a sign: "Dislocated Shoulder."

The worst part is, they always want to know how I dislocated it.  There are many interesting and worthwhile reasons to have a dislocated shoulder:

Ultimate Cage Fighting
Bitch-Slapping Kodiak Bear
Meteorite 

The way it really happened was this: walking up some steps

This is my modus operandi when it comes to getting injured.  Why can't I get hurt doing something exciting?  Why is it always something ordinary?  Say, walking?  Admittedly, Ultimate Cage fighting is not something I do a lot of, but surely I have as much right to get hit by a meteorite as anyone else.  Getting hit by a meteorite makes you seem glamorous and remarkable: tripping on steps just makes you a klutz.

So now if you see me in a sling, you'll know why.  And if someone else asks you what happened to me, tell them it was a meteorite.
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I can't think of anything else funny to say about my butt, so here are some cartoons about falling & generally just being old and/or accident prone:















PS--Are you a follower of Darcy at http://www.sothenstories.com?  If not, you're missing some very funny & clever stuff.  Go take a look!!

PPS--We (my husband, our son & I) saw a really funny movie about old people yesterday.  It's "Last Vegas", with Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman & Kevin Kline.  Lots of laughs!!  I recommend it.




When you get older, you hear the question, "Who's hip?" as "Whose hip?"----fishducky