Monday, December 30, 2013


...you may be looking for a new job soon!!  Keep an eye out for any comments of this sort:

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom... and has started to dig." 

"His men would follow him anywhere... but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This employee has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"This employee should go far... and the sooner he starts, the better."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless." 

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

"A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." 

My own employment history:

Right after the end if the Ice Age When we were married Bud was in the Army & stationed at Fort Ord.  I worked as a dental assistant on the post.  My boss was Dr. Joe Stewart, who was from Anniston, Alabama.  Languages & accents are fun for me.  I tend to “parrot” them without realizing it.  Bud told me that I was beginning to speak with a southern accent.  I told Dr. Stewart what Bud had said & he responded, “So what?   Why’s he complainin’?  Y’all talkin’ right fo’ the first time in yo’ life!”

He used to do dental work under general anesthesia on Wednesday mornings.  One day he asked me if I’d like to watch.  I told him I would.  I got scrubbed & gowned, went in & stood a few feet from the table as he started to work.  He told me I couldn’t see well enough from there & that I should move closer.  I did.  He said that I still wasn’t close enough.  I moved again.  Not close enough. I moved again & by this time I was right next to the patient’s head.  Dr. Stewart said that if I was going to stand that close I might as well help & slapped a suction hose into my hand.  I assisted him in surgery from that Wednesday on.

Almost all of our patients were children.  Their parents could be with them while we worked if they wanted.  When he was about to start, he would usually say, “Open your mouth & let’s take a peek.”  Usually.  One time, however, with the mother there, he slipped.  What came out was, “Open your mouth & let’s take a LEAK.”  It broke the two of us up—mommy didn’t hear it.  

After Bud was discharged I worked as a dental assistant for Dr. Taub, a children’s dentist.  Since many kids are scared of people wearing medical whites, we wore street clothes.  During the summer we could wear shorts.  Once, another dentist came over to pick up Dr. Taub to go out to lunch.  He questioned my boss on our attire.  I heard Dr. Taub tell him, “When most dentists are hiring a new assistant, they usually ask where she went to school.  I say, ‘Lemme see your legs, baby!’”  (This was obviously  before the days of political correctness.)

That was a great place to work.  I happily did his banking & ran errands because he let me drive his new Ford Thunderbird convertible instead of my car.  He used to take two hour lunches so the receptionist & I would alternate weeks, staying in the office one week & taking two hours out the next.  We were only about five minutes from Santa Monica beach, so I could spend an hour or so on the sand, drive back & get cleaned up in his private shower before I had to go back to work.  Not too tacky!

I've run these before, but I love them:

If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday----fishducky