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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

EXCUSE ME, BUT WOULD YOU PLEASE ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS?

xkcd: Refrigerator


Being the deep thinker that I am, naturally I have many unanswered questions. Among them are:



When cannibals eat a missionary, do they get a taste of religion?

Should someone keep their job as a banker if they lose interest?

Why isn't fat the past tense of fit?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too? 
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? 

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
 

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
 

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
 

Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
If my mind is sharp as a tack, why is my body like Jello?

Why do math teachers have so many problems?

Why don't relief maps show restrooms?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? 

Why are double negatives a no-no?

Why can't I remember jokes about amnesia?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their behind when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why is Braille available on drive-up ATM's?

Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"?

How can there be such a thing as a "self help group"?

My husband thinks I'm a skeptic.  Why don't I believe him?

During World War II, how did Japanese pilots train for kamikaze missions?

If you tell a joke in the forest & nobody hears it, was it still a joke?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? 

Isn't sweat really just fat crying?

Life is full of uncertainties--or could I be wrong about that?

If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out her nose? 

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? 


Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

It used to be that the only things that were inevitable were death & taxes.  Doesn't that now include shipping & handling?

If we are put on earth to help others, what are the others here for?


I do know how to tell who your 
real friends are:



















There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots----fishducky


 








28 comments:

  1. That's an awful lot of questions up there fishy, and I don't have a single answer for you. But I do have another question, why don't brown cows give chocolate milk?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mean they don't--where DOES it come from, then?

      Delete
  2. A cannibal will have to eat a lot more people than a missionary to get a taste of religion. LOL
    I don't like to eat even animals, and I am talking in terms of cannibalism. That's what blogging did to me LOL
    How I wish that fat was a past tense. LOL

    The square root of nine is three
    .
    #2 Pencils? I wonder that too, but I thought that I did not know that because I am from India. So there is no hope for me to get an answer. Sigh LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's good to know that I'm not the only one whose brain has been affected by blogging!!

      Delete
  3. Would a fly without wings be called a "walk"? HAHAHAHAaaaaaa …… hahaaaaa

    Morning, Fran … HAhaaaaaaa

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think fat is the past tense of fit.

    Very Carlinesque stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It makes sense to me--but then, a LOT of things make sense to me!!

      Delete
  5. So many good jokes here. I particularly liked: Why are double negatives a no-no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Double negatives aren't ALWAYS a no-no, are they?

      Delete
  6. When we were swimming our grandson saw the small scar on Grandpa's abdomen from a gall bladder operation. "Were you born again, Grandpa?"

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  7. I would love to think that sweat is fat crying. That makes the vengeful me smile.

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  8. Call my ex-husband. He thinks he knows the answer to everything.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine used to, but now, after 58 years of marriage when I ask him a question he says, "I dunno"!!

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    2. Mine thought he knew it all too. Hahaha! Goody for him.

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    3. I think it's a fairly universal condition caused by testosterone poisoning!!

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    4. I somehow missed the math test cartoon yesterday. The Hurricane is teaching a class this semester. I'll recommend that she structure some questions in that fashion. Her students would love her.

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    5. I wish I had teachers like that!!

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  9. Oh my goodness. What brilliant questions. I'd give you answers, but this little box for comments is too small. Meaning my answers would be boxed in. Maybe?

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooohh, that question's causing an unBEARable strain on my brain!! CUB I get back to you?

      Delete
  10. The only question I could answer from the first pic was Why do spider bites itch?

    Because spiders are gross, and they don't brush their teeth. Therefore the bite is a product of their nasty morning breath teeth irritating our beautiful, perfect skin.

    You're welcome. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why I ALWAYS brush before biting anybody!!

      Delete
  11. That dog in the trunk with hubby really got me!

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  12. Beautiful questions. Happy weekend!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.