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Monday, January 20, 2014

THE FROGEPHANT

It's fairy tale week again!!



Put on your jammies, brush your teeth, hop into bed & I'll tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a young elephant named Freddy who desperately wanted to be a frog.  He loved the way they hopped and jumped.  He loved their green color and since they spent so much time in the water, they were never coated with dust (which bothered his allergies) like he usually was.  He even tried living on a strict diet of insects and flies, but to tell you the truth, he never felt full.  He had found a Berlitz book someone had lost while on safari and studied their language until he was fully proficient in Frogese.

Freddy felt like he was a frog.  He often wondered if he had accidentally been switched at birth.  Even his name seemed wrong.  Everyone knows that the first names of animals are supposed to start with the first letter of their species, like his mother and father, Elizabeth and Edward Elephant.  “Freddy” should be a name for a frog!

Every morning when he woke up, he would have a big bowl of flies and a multivitamin and kiss his mom goodbye.  He then headed out to a clearing in the jungle where he would practice jumping for hours.  The ground trembled under his weight.  This frightened many of the natives, who would yell, “Tetemeko, tetemeko!!” until they were told, “Hiyo tu Freddy tembo. Yeye kufanya mazoezi ya kuruka.”  (On the off-chance that your Swahili is a little rusty, allow me to translate: “Earthquake, earthquake!!”  “That's just Freddy the elephant.  He’s practicing jumping.”)

As you can well imagine, all that jumping made Freddy very tired.  After practice he would come home to take a much needed nap.  When he slept, he dreamed—a lot!  In them, he was often a combination of elephant and frog.  He dreamed he was attacked by a crocodile who was only able to grab one of his ears (because Freddy was still elephant-sized) and couldn’t drag him under the water.  He dreamed that he tried to rest on a lily pad, but both he and the lily pad sank to the bottom of the river with a splash that was alarmingly similar to a tidal wave!  When he found himself frog-sized he had to catch flies by impaling them on his tusks--can you imagine how difficult that would be?
 
Freddy finally decided that maybe he wouldn’t make a very good frog, after all, but that didn’t stop him from loving them dearly.  In fact, one day when he was out for a walk (elephants need regular exercise, you know, or they tend to develop big floppy stomachs) he met Felicia Frog.  She was new in town, having just hopped over to visit some cousins.  He took one look at her, and she at him, and it was love at first sight.  He asked her to marry him.  She charmingly flicked out her tongue and caught a passing fly, swallowed it and answered, “Yes!”  Freddy was mesmerized, awestruck at her beauty and talent.  They had a lovely ceremony which was conducted by John J. Jaguar, Justice of the Peace.

It wasn’t too long before Felicia was expecting their first child.  Freddy was concerned that the baby would be a misfit like the creature he had been in his dreams.  When his offspring was born, Freddy was relieved that all his worries had been for nothing.  Farrah Elizabeth Frog-Elephant (she was named after her grandmothers and later shortened her last name) was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen!  Her skin was the loveliest shade of green, her tiny baby tusks were adorable and her warts were exquisite.  She had inherited all the best qualities of both frogs and elephants.  Everyone oohed and aahed on seeing this lovely creature.

Soon, elephants and frogs all over the jungle were marrying each other in hopes of having a beautiful baby like her of their very own.  And that, my children, is the story of how the frogephant came to be. 














From Robert Brault--"I like to think that I've achieved a certain social status, assuming outcast is a status"----fishducky


 




27 comments:

  1. An elephant and a frog had a child....it just blows the imagination clean away. Was she born in the usual manner? If yes, then poor Felicia. Mini tusks and four baby feet bigger than she is? Or was she a baby elephant shaped tadpole that had to develop? I think I may have strange dreams tonight......
    Love the cartoons.

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    1. I thought it would better not to go into detail!!

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  2. Well that story was very different the mind boggles at all the different sorts of animals that could be created.
    Merle...................

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    1. I think God made the duck-billed platypus as an experiment!!

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  3. Your imagination is priceless. I totally bought into the story though the thought of the honeymoon had me a bit flummoxed. Your mind needs to be studied. It is a rare treat.

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    1. Actually, I have offered my mind to science--the best offer I got was $17.50!!

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  4. The story is very cute. I bet if it happened in reality, the baby will be beautiful. Have a great week.

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  5. reminds me of that old joke... and I mean old joke ... so old I can't remember anything other than the puncline ... let's see.... an elephant an a flea were stranded on an island. flea? surely not a flea... anyway.... after so many months ... they both got horny and decided to give it a go.

    flea climbed up the elephant and had a fine time... then it was the elephant's turn and so the flea braced itself against a rock and looked back and said... now, if it don't go... don't force it...

    ha... something like that... wonder if I an google old potty humor jokes... maybe it was a frog...

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  6. This story reminds me of a naughty joke about a crow making love to an elephant, but I'll save it for another time.

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  7. And now I know why I can't jump. Thank you.

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  8. You told me to go to bed. Should I stay here?

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. As long as you're enjoying it!! (Say "Hi" to WDW for me.)

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    2. He told me to say "hi" back to you.

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  9. Parts of this story are a little hard to picture. Still, 17.50 is low you should hold out for at least $20.00

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  10. Loved the story! And the comics... priceless.

    "Who stepped on the pigmy?" *snicker, snort*

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  11. I always start out my day with a big bowl of flies! Yummy!

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    1. Me,. too=--I like mine with cinnamon !!

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  12. Very cute story but I am glad you left out the horrors of what that birth would have been like! Yikes!

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  13. Um, well. Next you'll be telling us about Elebears. I'm frightened already!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.