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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO SOMETHING OR OTHER


Today, we have some clean (sort of) jokes:

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" & he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, “I go where it’s crowded. I lay the brushes out like this, & then I put up a sign saying, 'Free chips & dip!!' & I put out some potato chips & dip to draw in the customers.” He laid out his chips & dip. His boss said, "That's a very innovative approach" & took one of the chips, dipped it, & stuck it in his mouth. "This tastes like shit!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied, "Everybody says that.  Then I say, 'It is shit—wanna buy a toothbrush?' It works every time!!"
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Impressed by the impeccable cleanliness of the restaurant, the customer summoned his waiter over to the table to compliment him. "We take pride in our sanitary precautions," the waiter explained. "For example, the manager makes us carry a spoon, so we don't have to touch the food we serve, and we even have a string attached to our pants fly, so that we don't touch the zipper when we have to use the bathroom." "But how do you get your stuff back into your trousers?" the customer asked. "I don't know about the others," the waiter said, “but I use my spoon!!”

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
http://dailyjokes.somelifeblog.com
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A guy goes into a restaurant & he's absolutely starving.  He asks the waiter to bring him some soup, mashed potatoes & a steak.  The waiter brings the soup & he has his thumb in it. The guy's annoyed but he's really hungry so he eats it, anyway.  Then out comes the steak & mashed potatoes & the waiter's thumb is in the potatoes.  He's still very hungry, so he eats it without complaint.  When he finishes, he asks for a cup of coffee, & sure enough it comes complete with the waiter's thumb.  He says, "When you brought me my soup, your thumb was in the bowl.  It was in the potatoes when you brought my steak.  Now, it's in my coffee.  You're the worst waiter I've ever seen!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can explain.  I have terrible arthritis in my thumb & my doctor says to keep it warm."  The diner angrily says, "Why don't you stick it up your ass?"  The waiter replies, "I do, in the kitchen, but my manager won't let me in the dining room!!"
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There are some who insist on being clean:



And then there are others:











Housecleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places----fishducky

 


  

17 comments:

  1. OCD people may have never been this popular before. Love it. Thank you.

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  2. Funny stuff today! I loved the freshly washed ballerinas! Hahaha! Have a great day!

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  3. That dog looks like our dog when he chases groundhogs:)

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  4. 'Morning, Fran … freshly washed ballerinas … HAHaaaa

    loathe hate and despise cleaning the house...

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  5. Must check under my bed...maybe it's not too late for the cleaning fairy. I'll call 911.

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  6. I guess I should start carrying a spoon in my pocket for bathroom breaks. Ha!

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  7. Dear Fran, speaking of cleanliness, my house could use a good cleaning as I would win the medal for being the laziest of house keepers! So I'm glad that company is coming over my birthday---that gives me a reason to clean! The cats will love it. Peace.

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  8. I cleaned today... just the basics. It felt really good to walk in the door and find a nice clean house awaiting me... until I looked back and realized the kids were dropping their things left and right as they came in behind me.

    It's like shoveling the tide...

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  9. Too bad, I don't know anyone with OCD and now I wish I did. Lots to do around here....

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  10. I wish I knew someone with OCD too LOL!
    Now "I'll" have to clean my own house--dang it! :)

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  11. They say that cleanliness is next to godliness. You have a picture to prove it. Very good.

    But around here, cleanliness is next to impossible.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  12. Perfect timing for a good "clean" laugh. Because of my bum shoulder, I haven't vacuumed in weeks. Yesterday my shoulder felt pretty good so I broke out the machine and immediately the power went off for 6 hours. Maybe if I sprinkle some seeds and invest in some grow lights???

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  13. Oh Yuk!! Those waiters! The spoon, the thumb...I'm never eating out again.
    Love the RIP cleaning fairy!

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  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. Cleanliness may be next to Godliness, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were both hiding somewhere...

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  16. Taking today off again. See you tomorrow (I hope)!!

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  17. Cleanliness is next to an aching back.

    Love,
    Janie

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.