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Monday, March 24, 2014

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THEIR AUDITIONS WERE LIKE!!



These contestants were obviously NOT on Jeopardy!


National Lottery Jet Set
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? 
Contestant: William Shakespeare. 

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? 
Caller: Japan. 
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. 
Caller: Er... Mexico? 



The Weakest Link 

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering over lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.


Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? 

Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. 


Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? 
Contestant: (long pause) Joe? 

Lincs FM phone-in 
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? 
Contestant: Barcelona. 
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. 
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. 

Steve Wright Show, Radio 2 
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? 
Contestant: India. 

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? 
Contestant: Espresso. 

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. 
Contestant: Sydney. 

This Morning 
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? 
Contestant: True? 
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that. 

BBC Radio Newcastle 
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? 
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. 

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC 
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? 
Contestant: Four. 

BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show 
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
 
Contestant: Er... 
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... 
Contestant: Blimey? 
Wood: Ha, ha, ha, no. The past participle of run... 
Contestant: (Silence) 
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... 
Contestant: Walked?



ROCK FM
Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Bamber Gascoigne
What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
Lottery Host
What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific?

And my favorite:
Beacon Radio
What is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
If those weren't funny enough, here are some cartoons:






We actually sent this card one year:

Here's one no one should get wrong:


If this made you yawn, at least it was an honest opinion openly expressed----fishducky

 











25 comments:

  1. How do the the game show hosts/comperes keep a straight face?
    And I would have LOVED to hear Ann Robinson's response - and would hate to see a hovering crocodile.
    Thanks Fran - these are brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do the the game show hosts/comperes keep a straight face? I don't know--I certainly wouldn't be able to!!

      Delete
  2. Under pressure, sometimes the brain freezes. This is why I would never try one of these shows. Sometimes when the answer is too easy you think it must be a trick.

    Plus, I'm pretty sure the 6 day war took seven days, they just rested on the Sabbath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate it when your answers make sense to me!!

      Delete
  3. Dear Fran, I'm with "Joeh" on the brain freezing or may I'm thinking of panic, which is what happens to me sometimes when I'm driving and things seem to go awry! Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I live in Los Angeles--please do not drive there!!

      Delete
  4. Guess the ass really made me laugh, but I'm very immature.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I must be immature, too--I loved it!!

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  5. All made me smile big time. Idiots always entertain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, except when they're your boss--or your representative in politics!!

      Delete
  6. This was not only fun but suddenly I feel smarter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I feel so much smarter too! And have a stitch in my side and it's all your fault.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I loved the goosey answer to Gandhi. Do you think sometimes these answers are just meant to be funny or do people really believe that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I honestly don't think they're TRYING to be funny!!

      Delete
  9. I almost blew a fuse at the Italian motorway - expresso. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It makes more sense than a lot of the other answers!!

      Delete
  10. Is it the girl with daddy issues?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm kind of ashamed that most of these stupid people are British! hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stupidity knows no national boundaries!!

      Delete
  12. I love these!!
    I like anything that makes me appear smarter.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you realize how stupid the average person is, it is frightening to realize that half of the people (but NOT you) are even stupider!!

      Delete
  13. You just proved my husband is right with your millionaire question. LOL

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.