Robert Brault writes a blog [LINK] entirely composed of his quotes. I think he's very clever & I've even stolen used a few--I always give him credit!! Below is a small sampling:
"I look back on the time I've wasted, and I'm just
glad I wasted it while I still had the chance."
A rule I try to follow is this: "Never believe anything that requires you
to hate people who do not believe it."
"After years of buying clothes I intend to diet into, I'll say this -- the
skeleton in my closet has some really nice outfits."
"I don't think that life begins until you go looking for trouble, and
happiness is ending up with the trouble you went looking for."
"There's always a new chapter in life. You ride off into the sunset and
discover it's the sunrise."
"Life is a series of choices, all made at too young an age."
A message to someone: "I know you're still alive because you never call
and you never write, which is just like you."
"Life is a series of tasks that absolutely must get done before they don't
"Be happy, and a reason will come along."
"In the end there doesn't have to be anyone who understands you. There
just has to be someone who wants to."
"There's never enough time to do what you've always wanted to do -- and
never enough time not to."
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they
were the big things."
"Say what you want about aging, it's still the only way to have old
"An old body is like an old building. Eventually its only reason for being
is the employment of the maintenance staff."
"I complain of the passing years, but then I look in a mirror and realize
that very few of them actually got past."
"Doesn't seem fair that a greedy few should have all the wealth when the
rest of us are just as greedy."
"The more we scan the universe, the more it seems that God either created
planet Earth or it's the only thing He didn't create."
"If you want my advice, here it is: Seek out someone who wants to make you
happy and let them."
"The great thing about the internet is that you get to meet people you
would otherwise only meet if you were committed to the same asylum."
"One difference between a dog and a person is that when you earn a dog's
love, you get it." "The trick to being happy is to stop putting it off until such time as you can be happier." And some quotes by others:
“It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than
to talk and remove all doubt of it.”--Maurice Switzer
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to
pause and reflect.”--Mark Twain
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
know that your name is safe in their mouth.”--Jess C. Scott,The Intern
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”--Socrates
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge
faster than society gathers wisdom.”--Isaac Asimov
“Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting
slapped with the stick.”--Carroll Bryant
"If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what
the hell are you drinking?”--Regina Griffin
"If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there
“Of all the things I dislike, I dislike my dislike of things, but I like
that I dislike that.”--Stuart Blythe
“Whenever I'm running an hour late for work, it always makes me feel
better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.”--Mark W. Boyer
“I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that
there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended.”--Wayne Gerard Trotman Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. --Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time
of the month that I can be myself.--Roseanne Barr If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. --George
Carlin The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable
job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of
the night, drop them off at the wrong house. --Jeff Foxworthy See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time. --Robin Williams
“Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on
HAPPY ST. PAT'S DAY!!!
“If you're reading
this...congratulations, you're alive. If that's not something to smile about,then I don't know what is.” ----Chad Sugg,(& fishducky)