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Friday, September 26, 2014

TOMORROW I'LL BE 80!!






Blogger’s been screwing with me again.  Most people did not get Wednesday’s post, "A BUNCH OF UNCONNECTED STUFF (OR) FISHDUCKY'S BABBLING AGAIN”.  I tried to run it again yesterday—it only partially worked.  If you haven’t read it (& you want to) I suggest going to “older post” at the bottom of this one.  GOOD LUCK!! 


Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you'll live!!




My daughter asked me if there was anything special I'd like to do to celebrate my birthday.  I told her a parade would be nice.  Nothing on the scale of the Rose Parade--maybe a dozen floats & a hundred or so marchers.  She said she didn't think so.  I don't know why she even asked!


I told my son, Matt, that I'd like a parade & he sent me this.  
The marchers in front are carrying pictures of my family.  
Thanks, Matt!!





Manzanita (Wanna Buy a Duck) wrote this for her 84th birthday.  I stole it!!

Crash the cymbals
Beat the drums
I'm still breathing

The Geography of Women 

Between 18 and 22 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60 a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70 a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit with a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80 a man is like North Korea and Zimbabwe, ruled by a pair of nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Know You're Old When:

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 
You and your teeth don't sleep together. 
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." 
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style. 
Things you buy now won't wear out. 
There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 
Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative. 
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. 
Happy hour is a nap. 
You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. 
You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course. 
You're told to act your own age, & you die.

Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once! 
Q: What do Jesus Christ, George Washington and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays. 
Q: Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks! 
Q: Why are birthdays good for you? A: Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest! 
Q: What do you give nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!  
Q: How can you tell that you're getting old? A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! 

Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." 
Doctor: "Next time, blow out the candles first." 
jokes4us

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. 
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." 
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

arcamax

Click on http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com
The screen is going to fade to black.
You'll be pleasantly surprised with this. 
Type the 4 digit year only. Then click the question (?) mark.
 





















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It's too late for me to become a prostitute--I'm past my sell-by date----fishducky

 




36 comments:

  1. Happy, happy birthday - and thanks for the smiles. Rather a lot of smiles.

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  2. I'm still as imperfect as ever, but I no longer care.
    That's me right there.
    Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
    I'd bake you a cake, but it wouldn't get there in time.

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  3. Loved the tour of the year I was born and, I'm working on that last piece of advice. Happy Birthday to you....sending virtual cakes and candles.

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    Replies
    1. I thought that tour thing was neat, too!!

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  4. Hello Dear Fran - Happy Birthday and a big wet smooch to you! ... if I was organizing a parade for you I'd hire the Chippendales ... :)

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    Replies
    1. Where have you been, young man? I've missed you!! Are you OK? I'd love the Chippendales!!

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  5. "...You'd give anything to be a maggot again..." Bwahahahahaha!

    Here's wishing you 80 more, fishducky! Have a happy, happy birthday. The parade is a great idea, if they carry you on a throne through the streets.

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  6. Those are some of the funniest aging cartoons I've ever seen, so thanks for my Friday chuckle! And happy birthday! You certainly have your sense of humor!

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    Replies
    1. With each passing year, the world seems funnier to me!!

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  7. Thanks for the chuckles today. Hope you have a very happy birthday!

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome--I plan to do just that!!

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  8. Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative. Ha! Love it. And I hope your birthday is an exceptionally happy one. And eighty is the new sixty so I'm sure you'll be making us laugh for a very long time.

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    Replies
    1. I plan to live forever--so far, so good!!

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  9. Blogger screws me all the time and never leaves me satisfied. Happy Birthday! I'll get drunk in your honor. I'm starting as soon as I finish this comment.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I KNEW Blogger was male!! Take your time--my birthday's tomorrow.

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  10. Happy Birthday. Make it a great day but an even better year.
    Goodness those jokes were entirely too close for comfort but hugely funny. I can see that ballerina on the wall quite clearly with my glasses off.

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    Replies
    1. All good humor is based on truth!! Don't I cast a lovely shadow?

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  11. Happy birthday, your sense of fun is as young as ever much younger than some people half your age, live for many years more.
    Merle....................

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  12. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! May you have plenty more! And stay as funny and awesome!!! After all, you are only 80! :)

    Best wishes and big hugs!

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    Replies
    1. Funny--I never thought of it as ONLY 80!!

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  13. So nice to stumble across your blog today. You are hilarious! I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

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    Replies
    1. I see you're now a follower. Welcome to the club--I'm so glad you could make today's meeting!!

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  14. Hi FishDucky - congratulations on being 80+ one day! I hope you're having a wonderful birthday weekend .. sorry you don't get your parade though .. still that would be hard work - watching them all go by ...

    Wonderful thoughts on being 'old' ... and may we all live many happy young years ahead of us ... cheers Hilary

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    Replies
    1. I'm having a MARVELOUS weekend, thanks!!

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  15. I loved that parade photo and there's no doubt your kids came up with some wonderful birthday gifts for you. Happy Birthday and a day, dear fishducky, you are the best. I loved that parade photo, I enlarged it and could see your whole family in the pictures. Great stuff.

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    Replies
    1. Take a look at Monday's post to see what happened on my birthday--it was GREAT!!

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  16. One more thing: A blogger friend, D.G. Hudson, went here and read your post but said she couldn't find a place to leave a comment, so she left it on my blog. You should go back and read the nice comments there, BTW.

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    Replies
    1. I read them & commented. You have some very nice followers!!

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  17. Happy Birthday Fran. God Bless you. You give thousands of laughs. Surely you have made every one forget their problems - - - - - even for a few minutes.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you--I sincerely hope you're right!!

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  18. HAHaaaaa ~ a Parade! absofreakinlutely … LOVE your son, Matt’s picture! brilliant! world of cow … haha a

    Happy Birthday, Fran …. 80! not too far behind ya ~ I intend upon having my sense of humor remain intact as you have! you’re great fun and I’m glad I found yer blog…

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    Replies
    1. Shouldn't everyone have at least one parade in their honor? The older I get, the more I NEED a sense of humor--it keeps my from crying over my disintegrating body!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.