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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

RULES FOR GOOD HOUSEKEEPING




      My house is clean.  I have discovered an effortless way to keep it like that.  Her name is Olivia & she comes every Monday.  Even before we could afford her, my house appeared clean.  My mother did things differently than I do.  I have memories of a pile of newspapers on the dining room table.  She would pick them up, wax the table & put the papers back on it.  My method--throw out the papers & don't dust or wax.  I figure that if someone is going to do a white glove inspection of your home, the least you can do as a gracious hostess is to let them find dust!!

      My daughters-in-law share my way of thinking.  When my grandson was about to be born I flew to Connecticut to help out.  Linda had gone out & I was sitting & visiting with Matt & their little daughter.  I looked around at the mess & said to Matt, "I'm so glad that Linda feels comfortable enough around me that she didn't go crazy cleaning for my visit."  Matt laughed & said, "She did!!"  I bought her this sign which she proudly still keeps hanging in her kitchen:

I bought this sign for my other daughter-in law:

Nameless is nothing like me,
so this is her sign:

Here are 16 house cleaning tips which I've found to be helpful over the years:

       1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!

3. The best mini-vacuum for an after meal clean-up is the dog.

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke 
the vacuum cleaner.

7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

8. If guys were supposed to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11. Simplify... hire a maid.

12: My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top 
bunk bed until I faint.

13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

14. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

15. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

16. If dusting is really out of control, simply place a showy urn on the 
coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..." 
       http://board.jokeroo.com

This "Baby Mop" is a real product:













Zsa Zsa Gabor claimed to be a marvelous housekeeper; every time she left a man, she kept his house.

Housecleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places----fishducky

 











32 comments:

  1. Just hilarious post today....just as I was thinking I needed to do some housekeeping....maybe not. I had to call my hubby in to read these with me. Thanks so much for a smile on a Wednesday!

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  2. The only way our house ever gets clean is we throw a party...then the party just messes it up again.

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  3. I used to be anal about housekeeping......I have a much more relaxed attitude toward it these days.

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  4. Ha ha.... like that baby mop idea.

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    Replies
    1. I think everyone should have chores!!

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  5. I've never fought with a dust bunny, but I've named a few.

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    Replies
    1. C'mon, Stephen, you're man enough to take them on!! (Best 2 out of 3?)

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  6. I have described our home as cluttered and dusty. You have convinced me - it is cluttered, dusty and romantic (particularly in the corners).

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    Replies
    1. And those corners get more romantic every year!!

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  7. I have found weak eyesight makes housekeeping much easier. Dust--what dust. Please let me know when the riding vacuum is invented. I would adore that.

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  8. Love this. My house is messy. I used to be OCD neat. Life is more interesting this way. :)

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    Replies
    1. A clean house is the sign of an empty mind!!

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  9. God bless Mrs. Roomba. I love her so. I've never found anything that needed to be removed from the filter in the Bosch dishwasher. Franklin cleans the plates before I put them in the dishwasher. They have no crumbs or food residue. If I spill something, I say, Fraaaaanklin. Mom needs help!

    Love,
    Janie

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  10. Wow - - Cleaning has become more interesting after reading this post. LOL
    Refrigerator is one big thing I hate to have to clean up. It would be easier if there was some way I could remember the leftovers have to go at some point.

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    Replies
    1. When they're big & fuzzy, dump them!!

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    2. Store the leftovers in the garbage bin instead of the fridge.

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  11. Ha Ha. My preferred bathroom cleaning method is to shine all the taps and handles and straighten the towel on the rail.
    I love the list, "if it walks out of your fridge, let it go"
    My home was always clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy, but I will NEVER understand leaving the cleaned clothes in the basket. I washed, dried, ironed and put away all on the same day, right up until the youngest one left school. Then I stopped the ironing part and just put things away. Folded of course.

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    Replies
    1. So what you're saying is that you're not as much of a fanatic any more!!

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    2. I was always more fanatical about my kids being nicely presented. Myself? I'm a slob and don't care who knows it. But my bathroom shines.

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  12. Replies
    1. Glad you liked it--we aim to please!!

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  13. Delightful and insightful and helpful--ROFL!! It's all just an endless battle against dirt and dust, after all. ;)

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  14. So, basically you're saying that housekeeping is more than buying a house...and keeping it?? I may have a problem...

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    Replies
    1. Just break the word down into its parts: House=what you live in. Keeping=having it forever. The rest is gravy, which will NEVER come off your shirt!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.