First, let me attempt to collect my thoughts:
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against .... get this .... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.
The man sued ... and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated
that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted
that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the
cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be
"unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for
his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare
cigars he lost in "the fires."
After the man cashed his check,
however, the insurance company had him arrested... on 24 counts of arson! With
his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as
evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare
cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms.
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A friend of ours wanted us to try some new bread he had discovered that he thought was wonderful. We declined, explaining to him that we were on a very strict diet. He insisted it would be fine--in fact, he said, "This bread is made with absolutely no ingredients!!"
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One day, when Bud was "in the mood", he approached me. I was very busy & asked him if it would take long. His reply: "Not now!!"
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Did you know that a crocodile can't stick out his tongue?
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A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the
artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald
bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."
"But you’re not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case
I die before my husband. I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want
his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
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Having trouble getting your man’s attention?
Here are three easy ways I've found:
1) Turn off the TV,
2) Mute it, or
3) Stand directly in front of it.
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My son & my son-in-law are very good friends. Some time ago, they were having a minor
argument--more like a difference of opinion.
My son-in-law was going on & on when Blake interrupted him to ask,
“I don’t understand. What is your
point?” My son-in-law answered,
“Exactly--I have NO point!” I think that
answer alone makes him eligible to be a member of our family.
Déjà Moo: The feeling
that you've heard this bull before----fishducky
