Many
years ago rhinos had skin that was a lovely shade of pink and as soft as
velvet. They used to get very bad
sunburns, because at that time suntan creams had very low SPF numbers and they
believed, probably rightly so, that carrying a parasol to ward off the sun would
make them look like wimps to the other animals.
One
particular rhinoceros, whose name was Rodney, was desperate. He badly needed something to cover his extremely
sensitive skin. He went online and
although it took him a long time to type in anything correctly on his computer
because of the size of his hooves, he eventually found a listing for Angelo
Anteater, an Italian tailor.
Fortunately, he was listed under “a” because it was too difficult for
Rodney to scroll down to anything under “x”, “y” or “z”. He took a taxi (it was a tight fit but, as
you know, rhinos aren’t allowed on buses) and went to see him.
He
introduced himself formally to the tailor.
He said, “I am of the kingdom animalia, the phylum chordate, the class
mammalia, the infraclass euthena, the order perissodactylia, the suborder
ceratomorpha, and the superfamily rhinocerotoidea, but you can call me
Rodney.” He explained his problem to
Angelo. He told him how easily he
sunburned. He said he realized that was
probably because he spent so much time wallowing in mud holes instead of under a
tree, but that was the only way he could cool down. He told him that he liked wallowing so much
that he would probably keep doing it, even if he was cool.
He
asked Angelo if he could possibly make some kind of a suit for him. Angelo thought and thought and then said, “I
believe I can, signore. It would have to
be waterproof and soil resistant, because of the mud holes. The fabric would have to be thick enough to
keep the sun out. You realize that since
you are a plus size, it will require a lot of fabric, so there will be an extra
charge. There will have to be a hole in
it so your horn will stick out, but I think I can do it!” He tied several tape measures together and
took Rodney’s measurements and told him to come back in three weeks.
When
Rodney returned, Angelo was apologetic.
The tailor brought out the pieces for Rodney’s suit. They were all cut, but not sewn
together. Angelo told him that he had
broken several sewing machine needles trying to sew them, but that he hadn’t
been able to find one that was strong enough to go through the thick
material. He didn’t know what to do and
neither did Rodney. They were puzzled.
It
was then that Oliver Owl came into the shop to pick up the new feather coat he
had ordered. He looked at the other two
and saw that they seemed confused about something. He said, “Got a problem, guys? Haven’t you heard how wise owls are? Maybe I can help you.” They explained about the thickness of the
fabric and the broken sewing machine needles.
Oliver said, “Easy, peasy—that’s a hoot!
If you don’t mind leaving it on, Angelo can put it on you piece by piece
with Super Glue. That should work just
fine! You can rinse it off by going into
the river. Bye bye, gotta fly!” He slipped into his new coat and flew away.
Rodney
said that would be fine with him, since rhinos didn’t worry a lot about staying
clean, anyway. Angelo glued the new suit
on Rodney, who loved it! Because of its weight, he did move a little
slower, but he didn’t mind that. Then
there were those little oxpecker birds (members of
the Sturnidae family,
he found out) that kept hitching rides on his back, but that was OK with him,
too. He couldn’t feel them through the
suit and they kept it clean inside the seams.
He sent all of his relatives to Angelo, who changed the name of
his business to RhinosRUs, patented the suits and made a fortune. If you see a rhino today, he’s probably
wearing one of Angelo’s suits!!
Dust is just mud
with all the water wrung out----fishducky
