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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

FISHDUCKY'S FOOD FUNNIES








Need a laugh?  Want to kill your appetite?  Read this post!!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor & pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked, "Crushed nuts?"
“No," he replied, "arthritis". 
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I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
 "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
 He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
 "Nah, she can order for herself."
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Diner: Waitress, how long have you been working here?
Waitress: Six months, sir.
Diner: Ah, then, it can't be you who took my order.
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I have never been in love..... But I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food. 
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"Waiter, I can't eat this food, it's terrible."
Waiter: "Well it’s no use complaining to me, I won't eat it either." 
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 (A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)
Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”
Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”
Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”
Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”
Waitress: “And which side?”
Father-In-Law: “Both.”
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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, & so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient; he walked back & forth & never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't just throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
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An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. "Senor, these are the cojones," the waiter replied. "The what, you say?" exclaimed the tourist. "They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," explained the waiter. The tourist gulped but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious. Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished the meal, the tourist commented to the waiter: "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday." "That may be, senor," agreed the waiter, "But the bull, he does not always lose."
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Want to drive a waiter crazy?  Ask for an extra seat for your imaginary friend----fishducky