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Friday, May 23, 2014

A PAEAN TO PIGEONS & PENGUINS

                                                         

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a penguin sitting next to him. "Are you a penguin?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The penguin replied, "Well, I liked the book."
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Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when penguins told him they liked “March of the Penguins”?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if penguins can talk?

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Q: How do penguins drink their booze?
 A: On the rocks.

Q: What´s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A penguin in a revolving door. 

Q. How does a blond try to kill a pigeon?
A. She throws it off a cliff.
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Little Tim was outside in the back yard digging a big hole in the corner of the yard.  He had been out there for a while really making this hole very large and deep.

The neighbor had been watching him for some time through her kitchen window and decided to go out and find out what was going on.

"Tim, why are you digging such a big hole in the yard?" she asked.  He answered angrily, "My pigeon died & I’m burying it."

"I’m so sorry to hear that, Tim" she said.  "But why are you digging such a big hole?"

Tim said, "Because your damn cat is in there too!!"
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Did you know that to keep alive in the wild, a pigeon needs to keep its eyes open for predators? Having eyes on the side of its head gives it a field of view of 340 degrees and, in order to fly at speed, its brain can process visual information three times faster than a human's.

If a pigeon watched a feature film, 24 frames per second would appear to it like a slide presentation. They would need at least 75 frames per second to create the illusion of movement on screen. (This is why pigeons seem to leave it until the very last second to fly out of the way of an oncoming car: it appears much less fast to them.)
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Going to work on Monday vs, coming home on Friday:

The sign says,
"WARNING! 
Due to overfeeding,
 some pigeons can become aggressive."